Sunday, August 8, 2010

Everybody Hates Chris - Pt 2 - The No-Tell

After he asked for suggestions on what to do next, I performed a mental run-through of our options. The truth was I wanted to lead him to the restroom, pull up my dress and consummate this date. But, this wouldn't satisfy me. I wanted to have real sex with him. Earlier in the day, a friend had shared with me that he wanted to make love to someone. I wanted to do the serial dater's equivalent with Todd. So, I suggested a no-tell.

Yep. Just like that. I made up my mind. I had PMS. I wanted to have sex, it was prime time for me and I had spent the day sitting on my ass, being irritated and frustrated. I wanted to be active. I wanted to do lots of things with this man. A second date was not on the list at this point. I just needed to finish out this day. And I wanted to finish it in bed with Todd.

He had to work the next morning and I had plans to spend the day with my sister, so we decided we would do it, but we would do it by the hour. I was glad we hadn't had that much to drink. We had both kept our wits about us and the rest of the process was easy. He had already paid, so without finishing the second drink, we left bar number 2.

We stopped by a convenience store for a six pack and rolled to a sex shop for condoms. I don't know why we couldn't get the condoms at the convenience store, but I don't question men about their condom choices. I just perused the 18 inch double ended dildos and the other 'impulse buys' while he made his selection.

With all of our errands run, we approached a strip club strip. We turned into a motel wedged between the more upscale strip club and the strip club that probably harbored the women that had passed their stripping prime. Yep. We were at an official hourly. I joked about bringing a black light, but I really didn't want to know.

He paid and we headed to the room. I went in first and it wasn't that bad (to the naked eye.) There was no doorknob on the bathroom and we later decided that was probably for peeping purposes or possibly a glory hole. Both options made me want to wash my hands repeatedly. Instead I just didn't touch the bathroom door. We laid back on the bed and talked. We didn't talk for long.

For the next however many hours, we alternated between various sex acts, some new to me and some traditional favorites, and talking. We would take breaks and watch Everybody Hates Chris. I am pretty sure we watched close to an entire season. I am not a fan of Chris Rock. As I said before, some of his comedy rubs me the wrong way and I think he is irresponsible with some of his jokes.

So, we debated the ethics of Chris Rock's stand up, had sex and, since it was a no-tell, I enjoyed a post-coital cigarette in the comfort of the towel covered bed. It was something straight out of the 70's. Two enlightened adults, enjoying each other's company in a seedy motel on Strip Club Strip. It didn't feel cheap. It was nice. I actually liked the guy. We had jokes, we had real things to talk about and the sex was good.

At this point, I had lost count of how many times we had actually had sex, but during what would be our final round, he did something amazing and without any effort on my part, I came. Mid-orgasm, the phone rang, followed by a knock on the door. It was housekeeping. Our time was up.

We quickly dressed and gathered our belongings. I cleaned the place up a little and emptied the ashtray. Yes, I go to hourlies. That doesn't mean I don't have manners. I even said goodnight to the two nice ladies waiting to clean our love den.

He took me home and we discussed going on a second date. I hope we have a repeat, but I am sure whatever it is, it will be interesting. I don't end every date with sex, I will have to remember to tell you about the date with the 22 year old. That didn't end with sex. But, I am glad this date went the way it went.

We exchanged one goodnight text:

Me: Be safe. Thanks for a good night. I still kinda hate Chris. Goodnight!
Todd: No you don't ... night. :)

He texted the next day just to say hi.

1 comment:

  1. Seriously, what's your beef with Chris Rock? Is it the bit about who tells the most lies or the biggest lies? That joke killed and resounded with the country cause it's right on point...but of course U knew that.


About Me

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I am the product-child of the Women's Lib movement. I have a grade A education, a promising career and no immediate goal for children or a spouse. I will be 30 this year and I have spent many years in monogamous relationships. In and out of 1 to 2 year relationships, I always dated with the goal of meeting someone special. Most of the time I didn't date. Most of the time I found myself falling into relationship after relationship. These relationships were doomed to fail. They were all built on expectations that were, for me, unattainable. I love meeting new people. I find sex enjoyable and empowering and I am not happy when I am monogamous. So, after my last break-up, after taking some time to grieve, I decided to cut my societal puppet strings and get back in the game. I set out on a mission to spend the Summer of 2010 dating as many men as possible. My only initial criteria was attraction. My only limitation was - no love and no structured relationships. This is my date by date tale of what life can be like outside of the goals of relationships and love.