Friday, April 1, 2011

Big News

The following was my April Fools post.  Nothing in this post is true. Well, some of it is.  It's your guess. 

So, everyone said it could happen.  I suppose no one has as much sex as I do without it eventually catching up with them.  At least I can say I don't regret anything. I suppose the blog will take a turn and things will be a little different from here on out.  I guess I'll just tell the story of how it began.

As all of you know, I have been seeing a number of men over the past year or so.  It all started on a train about 11 months ago.  I met a man and we had sex.  We can rule him out.  It definitely wasn't him.  It also wasn't The Beautiful One or Lewis.  I haven't seen either of them for a long while.  It wasn't The Stranger, because I still have yet to meet him.  It wasn't The Powerful One, he unfriended me on Facebook a good 4 months ago.

So, I know who it wasn't.  The trouble is, figuring out who it was.  Who it is...?  If you haven't guessed it by now, your favorite Serial Dater is pregnant.  Yep.  What can I say?  Shit happens. At least it's not Herpes.  Yes, you heard correct.  I just compared my unborn child to Herpes.  At least the kid came out on top.

I took a trip home about a month ago, so the guy I spent time with there could be the father.  The trouble is, I don't know how far along I am, so it could also be The Touched One or the 21-year-old.  Then, there is Marlon.  He came to visit a little while back.  I also recently bagged a professor.  If it's him, I will be relieved.  He's already had kids with a couple of other students, so he'll know what to do.  And, he has a good job.

I know it wasn't The Chick.  I recently made it with a woman that works in town.  I know it's not her, because I'm fairly sure that can't happen.  So, that's a relief.  She was a bit off anyway.

So, now it comes down to figuring out who it was.  I have some options.  I think it's possible to do a paternity test while pregnant.  At least that way, I could know what to expect this lil bugger to look like.  I know it will be half gorgeous.  The other half is a crap-shoot.  It will definitely be tall and attractive.  But it could range in smarts from brilliant to runs into walls.  I am a little more selective with looks than I am with intelligence.  Hey, at least I'm honest.

Wish me luck.  I hear raising a kid is kinda hard to do.  I think it will be fine.  I won't stop dating.  I actually have a date tonight.  At least I know he's not the father.  I welcome any tips you guys have for me.  I think once I get a couple drinks in me tonight and a cigarette to calm my nerves, I'll be able to think more clearly.

*The date is a very important part of this post.  Have a good first day of April, folks. ;)

1 comment:

  1. shit! I'm glad the stranger has been ruled out, and the chick. I bet everyone else damn near had a heart attack!


About Me

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I am the product-child of the Women's Lib movement. I have a grade A education, a promising career and no immediate goal for children or a spouse. I will be 30 this year and I have spent many years in monogamous relationships. In and out of 1 to 2 year relationships, I always dated with the goal of meeting someone special. Most of the time I didn't date. Most of the time I found myself falling into relationship after relationship. These relationships were doomed to fail. They were all built on expectations that were, for me, unattainable. I love meeting new people. I find sex enjoyable and empowering and I am not happy when I am monogamous. So, after my last break-up, after taking some time to grieve, I decided to cut my societal puppet strings and get back in the game. I set out on a mission to spend the Summer of 2010 dating as many men as possible. My only initial criteria was attraction. My only limitation was - no love and no structured relationships. This is my date by date tale of what life can be like outside of the goals of relationships and love.