The Accidental Prostitute

... or the night I contemplated giving head to rescue a friend.

I met The Beautiful One on a popular dating site.

His name is not misleading. He's a good looking man. Tall, great arms, fit, nice skin... pretty penis. (I would find this out eventually. You might as well know now.)

It began the way all the other online encounters do; I messaged him, he instant messaged me. Then, we decided to video chat to validate. He was, in fact, a gorgeous man. We chatted for all of 5 minutes and I decided that this was going to be what it was. I wasn't going to go to dinner with him or agree to meet him for drinks. We weren't going to take time to get to know each other. We were clearly both down for something casual, so I made it known. I was straightforward... "So, I think we should meet and have sex sometime." It wasn't as dirty as I thought it would be. It wasn't dirty at all. Once the words slipped off the tips of my fingers and onto the keys, I felt so proud. Of course, he was game. It was going to be easy for both of us. We talked about a few things ... one of the subjects was "Road Head"; giving someone head in a car. I have been a girlfriend, so I have given head in a moving car. Haven't all girlfriends?

Then ....

A message pops up. It's Lynn. She's had a really rough day and she just needs me to be with her; chill, have a glass of wine and talk about nothing. So, in order for me to get to my friend, it's an hour and a half bus ride. It was a very rainy Houston evening. This night was going to be more eventful than I had expected.

I told The Beautiful One that I had to go be a good friend and therefore had to cut our enthralling discussion of head in moving vehicles short. He played an unexpected card. He offered to come get me to save me from having to ride the bus. Herein lies the dilemma ....

This guy just offered me a ride that would cut my trip in half and save me from having to walk from bus stop to bus stop and then from bus stop to house in the rain. But, as this twist occurred in the middle of our 'Road Head' discussion, I might have to give him head for said ride.

I had to think about this hard. Was it like prostitution if we had already discussed the possibility of this happening? He had already offered to pick me up so we could ... uuumm .. 'chill.' That wouldn't have been prostitution. It would have been scandalous, but it wouldn't have been prostitution. Now, with the new element of necessity, I found myself debating the morality of the situation. It was fine if I did it just to do it, but doing it to stay dry posed a problem for me, especially since I had already declined his offer before hearing from Lynn. This fact kills the 2 birds with 1 stone rationale. Would it be wrong to go back and accept his offer now that I needed a ride?

I got some pretty dope pictures on the bus that night.

Letters From Friends

"Who Are You Today?"

Poly,

I have a tendency to love the potential in men. I have a superhuman ability to not see what they are in reality, but instead, see all the dormant attributes they have and all the things they could accomplish. Most of the time, these men are troubled by broken families, drugs or the want to continue to play the part of Peter Pan.

Taking a look at myself as an outsider, I wonder what makes me long to be with these individuals. It leaves me with the conclusion that I cling to men that show me the slightest "disinterest;" Forever trying to live up to what they need to feel complete.

Father Figure

I've played the role of father figure more than George Michael. I've been the protector and the one that plans ahead and sets the tone for our future.

Breadwinner/Cheerleader

Sometimes I will even wear the short skirt sans a blouse and pom poms to show support for my man. I've held down a household for two, paid for cars to be fixed, tickets around the world and clothes needed for a job that was never got.

Psychiatrist

I should never take on this endeavor, but I have found myself trying to "save" men who masked innumerable tribulations with alcohol, coke, weed or infidelity. I put myself last and sacrificed my soul over and over so they could feel "good" about themselves.

My ever-changing roles have left me mentally tired of relationships. I realize these are relationships that I have cultivated and men I have chosen. I put these men in a position over me and gave them everything until my marrow was dry; just so they could say the words "I love you." I've grown somewhat and can no longer wear some of those masks and some, I don't choose to place over my face.

-Anonymous

Contribute.

As with all people, I have a limited frame of reference. I am limited to my own views and life experiences. So, I need your help. You have been reading my experiences. I want to read yours and share them with our readers. Send letters regarding your dating experience to Poly.Amory00@gmail.com and I will share them on the blog.

As always, all players will retain complete anonymity. Please be respectful and don't use real names. Get creative with it! Thanks for your thoughts, views and experiences.

Online Dating

I signed up for all the reasons one signs up for a dating site, mainly to meet new people. At first, I believed my motives were probably a bit different than those of the average person on a dating site. I would come to realize that my motivations were much like that of most of the men on the site. Online dating sites are great for the Serial Dater. However, occasionally the Serial Dater's arch nemesis pops up. He is known as The Serial Monogamist and he wants a relationship immediately. This can be easy enough to weasel out of, assuming you can get past his gushing professions of love. This is pretty unpleasant. We'll come back to this guy.

For now, I want to talk about the dick pics, the angry messengers and "Nigger D." (I know, I know. The last one was offensive to all of us. Trust me ... it gets worse.)

There isn't much to say about the dick pics. They are just that. They are unsolicited pics of some strangers genitalia. They catch you off guard and they invade your eyes by making you see parts of a man that you would otherwise never have chosen to view. I enjoy pics of men that I am attracted to, preferably men I know and have an intimate relationship with. However, I have no interest in seeing BigDaddy773's dick in my inbox.

The Angry Messenger is an interesting type of guy. He will send you a wink or a flirt or whatever your site of choice calls it. If you don't answer, he will send you a message. Then, he will send you another message telling you that you could have at least thanked him for the compliment. Then he might even try to instant message you if the site has this feature. "You can't even say 'hi' or 'thank you?'" No. I can't. One of the appealing features of online dating is that I don't have to talk to you if I don't want to. I don't have to make up some excuse to get away or out of the conversation. I can just press delete. And that is what I am about to do, AngerIssues007.

And now, on to ... "Nig ..." I can't type it again. It's just so bad... I made up all the other names in this blog. Every name is my creation, except this one. I take no responsibility for this doozie. This was his own form of self-promotion.

Also, this is not a type of guy. This is a specific dude that not only gave himself a harsh (not to mention, very strange) name, but has to have the funniest profile I have ever seen. My homeboy and I had a great time perusing this dude's 'About Me' section. Here are a few of the questions along with the oh so hilarious answers this guy gave:

My favorite books, movies, music, and food

I like all books, movies, music, and food in the world.

(Everything in the world. He likes it all.)

The six things I could never do without

Money,me,hot girls,tv,car,family.

(It's nice to know that he cannot do without himself.)

I spend a lot of time thinking about

At school and at my job.

(Did he think they meant where do you do most of your thinking? And if so, didn't he find this question odd at all?)

On a typical Friday night I am

AT my house sleepy or at work.

(I just love that he's not at his house sleepING, just at his house 'sleepy.')

The most private thing I’m willing to admit

I love chatting with the ladies.

(Really?)

I don't know what made me more uncomfortable, this dude's shirtless pics or the fact that we were given a 35% compatibility... sad.

So, my online experience had been solely for comic relief. And then, I got a response from The Beautiful One. Thank you, Online Dating Gods. Stay tuned...

I Own This. It's My Story.

Originally titled: Body Image and The Change.

I am not talking about menopause. That's a different blog altogether. I am talking about the change I went through when I realized that my sexual appetite was healthy; When I realized that my sexuality was something to enjoy and that my body was not only a temple to be respected, but also a privilege to be cherished and a playground to be enjoyed.

I grew up in a society that frequently associates women's sexuality with revenge, jealousy, anger or submission. For a long time, I bought into the idea that being a sexually charged woman was somehow dirty; the idea that my sex life was to be hidden and my lust made me a slut. So, like many young women do, I tucked my sexuality away and only brought it out for special occasions. When I hid my sexuality and felt ashamed, I felt ugly. I am pretty sure no one likes feeling ugly. It's horrible. And it's not just about my outside appearance. When I cloaked my sexuality I felt sneaky and when sexual thoughts and impulses did sneak to the surface, I felt ashamed. I have always been flirtatious in nature. When I am ashamed, I feel unattractive and my happy, charming flirtation is stifled.

The closer I have gotten to 30, the better life has gotten. I have the confidence of a woman and the excitement of someone that has finally been freed of the confines of appearance and judgment. I can speak openly and eloquently (for the most part) about my sexuality. I never disrespect people's views and opinions, but I also never allow anyone's views or opinions to disrespect me. I can only imagine what life will be like as I mature and grow. Cliche in 5...4...3...2... I am comfortable in my own skin. I finally get what that means. I feel attractive and I feel sexy. I enjoy my body and my lust and I am happy to let other healthy, respectful individuals enjoy these things with me.

The best part of my transformation is - I can have sex and date without guilt. I am a good person and I am working on growing a thicker skin. Blogging is helping with that; The feedback has been mainly positive, but the negative has come fully equipped with below the belt swings. Luckily none of them have landed or hit home. So, I am going to keep telling my story and I am going to focus on the voices that have been raised to say they are happy I have found mine.

Serial Dater - Defined

So, it occurred to me that some people might not understand exactly what "Serial Dating" is. Well here is a quick lesson in Serial Dating.

Serial Dating revolves around the Serial Dater.

A Serial Dater is interested in dating as many people as possible; getting a good idea of what he or she wants or just having a good time with a variety of people. Men have been serial dating since the beginning of time. Women are taught to save themselves, even today. The old adage "He's not going to buy the cow if he gets the milk for free" is a good example of societies ways of priming a woman to control her present urges and forego pleasure in the hopes that one day a man will choose her and she can be stuck having sex with him and only him for the rest of her life. My answer to that is... I am not a "cow." My vagina is not "milk." And who said anything about "free." Nothing about me is for sale or give-away. I am a person, not a commodity.

I don't mean to say that marriage is bad or that monogamy can't be amazing with the right person. But, its not right with everyone and it sure as hell won't be right with the first person that comes along. So test the waters. See what you want. Find out what you like and have fun doing it. Life can be short or it can be really long. Either way, enjoy it.

Some guidelines for the Serial Dater:

~ Honesty is still the best policy. Be outright and forthcoming and don't make people think you are just with them, unless you are ready to be there.

~ Be safe. The world is your oyster, but it can also be your crabs, HIV, Gonorrhea, Herpes and a slew of other nasty disorders. Unsafe sex puts you and your partner(s) at risk. Don't end the party early. Just wrap it up and communicate with your partner.

~ Be respectful. It's a simple rule and it's universal. If you feel like you are doing someone dirty, you probably are. This is no fun for anyone. This also includes respecting yourself. Make sure you are dating and having sex for the right reasons. Sex won't fill voids and it won't bandage wounds ... it's not the ice cream. It's just the cherry on top.

That's it. Have fun and make sure you are bringing the fun for others.

'The fuck does Steve Harvey know about being a lady? Don't waste your money on books or blanket advice about what 'men' like about 'women.' Figure out what you want and what your partner wants and go from there.

Introductions

First Post. Let me start by introducing you to the players to date:

The Women:
The Best Friend - Lynn
The New Friend - B
The Sister - Lisa
And ... Me

The Guys:
Train Guy
Circle Cake
The Ex CoWorker
The Beautiful One
The Muslim

And ...

The One With a Name ... We'll call him Lewis


Of course, none of these names are real. My mother did not name me Poly and the stars weren't aligned well enough for me to have been blessed with the last name Amory. Everyone is protected, because every one of these people are special to me in their own way. Heh.
__________________________________________________________________

Lynn is a well known woman around Houston. She runs a successful blog and throws great parties and shows. She's 30 this year and she's single.

B is 25, a designer, single and likes to ride...

Lisa is 35 and married. Has one kid and another on the way.

I turn 30 this year. I returned home for the Summer of 2010 on a grant to work in the city. I made a goal before I left for Houston. I wanted to really date. I wanted to strip away societies goals of meeting 'the one' and get down to the nitty gritty. I decided to take a 3 day train trip back to Houston. I hit all the major cities on the way. I got off the train twice (and got off on the train once.) My first de-board was in Chicago. That's where I met Train Guy. The next 24 hours would prove to be a beginning to a fruitful summer.


...Second post - Train Guy. Stay tuned folks. It's about to get real.