Thursday, July 15, 2010

Serial Dater - Defined

So, it occurred to me that some people might not understand exactly what "Serial Dating" is. Well here is a quick lesson in Serial Dating.

Serial Dating revolves around the Serial Dater.

A Serial Dater is interested in dating as many people as possible; getting a good idea of what he or she wants or just having a good time with a variety of people. Men have been serial dating since the beginning of time. Women are taught to save themselves, even today. The old adage "He's not going to buy the cow if he gets the milk for free" is a good example of societies ways of priming a woman to control her present urges and forego pleasure in the hopes that one day a man will choose her and she can be stuck having sex with him and only him for the rest of her life. My answer to that is... I am not a "cow." My vagina is not "milk." And who said anything about "free." Nothing about me is for sale or give-away. I am a person, not a commodity.

I don't mean to say that marriage is bad or that monogamy can't be amazing with the right person. But, its not right with everyone and it sure as hell won't be right with the first person that comes along. So test the waters. See what you want. Find out what you like and have fun doing it. Life can be short or it can be really long. Either way, enjoy it.

Some guidelines for the Serial Dater:

~ Honesty is still the best policy. Be outright and forthcoming and don't make people think you are just with them, unless you are ready to be there.

~ Be safe. The world is your oyster, but it can also be your crabs, HIV, Gonorrhea, Herpes and a slew of other nasty disorders. Unsafe sex puts you and your partner(s) at risk. Don't end the party early. Just wrap it up and communicate with your partner.

~ Be respectful. It's a simple rule and it's universal. If you feel like you are doing someone dirty, you probably are. This is no fun for anyone. This also includes respecting yourself. Make sure you are dating and having sex for the right reasons. Sex won't fill voids and it won't bandage wounds ... it's not the ice cream. It's just the cherry on top.

That's it. Have fun and make sure you are bringing the fun for others.

'The fuck does Steve Harvey know about being a lady? Don't waste your money on books or blanket advice about what 'men' like about 'women.' Figure out what you want and what your partner wants and go from there.

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About Me

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I am the product-child of the Women's Lib movement. I have a grade A education, a promising career and no immediate goal for children or a spouse. I will be 30 this year and I have spent many years in monogamous relationships. In and out of 1 to 2 year relationships, I always dated with the goal of meeting someone special. Most of the time I didn't date. Most of the time I found myself falling into relationship after relationship. These relationships were doomed to fail. They were all built on expectations that were, for me, unattainable. I love meeting new people. I find sex enjoyable and empowering and I am not happy when I am monogamous. So, after my last break-up, after taking some time to grieve, I decided to cut my societal puppet strings and get back in the game. I set out on a mission to spend the Summer of 2010 dating as many men as possible. My only initial criteria was attraction. My only limitation was - no love and no structured relationships. This is my date by date tale of what life can be like outside of the goals of relationships and love.