Tuesday, July 20, 2010

I Would Sooner Be Alone

When was the last time you heard of a man staying in an abusive relationship, or standing by a woman suspected of killing the man she was cheating on him with? When do you ever hear stories of men so desperate for love that they put their children in harm’s way? Though the occasional story may come out, it seems to me that women are much more likely to knowingly choose the short end of the stick and offer up a log to a man that promises love or even just a warm body to lie next to.

Yesterday I watched Ted Haggard and his wife discuss their relationship and his repeated infidelity and lies with the entire country. She said she believed he had thoughts of being with men, but that as long as he would cover those thoughts up, hide them deep inside and deny his attractions, she would stand by his side. WHAT??? Not only is she encouraging him to deny who he is, she is denying herself piece of mind and true stability. In the words of Jenny Sanford, "It's one thing to forgive adultery; it's another thing to condone it." Mistakes are made and I commend people that can work through problems. Both men and women cheat. It just seems that women have a special talent for harnessing their weakness in order to accommodate the weakness of some dude.

I just finished reading an article, in which, a man killed one girlfriend and went to New Mexico to live with another, who accepted him with open arms, even though he was suspected (and later convicted) of murder. They stay with men that beat them and their children. They forgive husbands that pose as evangelical leaders, while sneaking out at night to have sex with men and do crystal meth. It seems women fall victim to manipulation and flattery. Why do women (seemingly) become weak and feeble minded in the face of prospective love and companionship?

I am in no way trying to say that all women are capable of falling victim to the possibility of companionship, nor do I write this to further victimize victims, but instead to ask, “when will women stop taking part in their own victimization?” I am really tired of seeing women make terrible decisions in the wake of love. I would sooner be alone.

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About Me

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I am the product-child of the Women's Lib movement. I have a grade A education, a promising career and no immediate goal for children or a spouse. I will be 30 this year and I have spent many years in monogamous relationships. In and out of 1 to 2 year relationships, I always dated with the goal of meeting someone special. Most of the time I didn't date. Most of the time I found myself falling into relationship after relationship. These relationships were doomed to fail. They were all built on expectations that were, for me, unattainable. I love meeting new people. I find sex enjoyable and empowering and I am not happy when I am monogamous. So, after my last break-up, after taking some time to grieve, I decided to cut my societal puppet strings and get back in the game. I set out on a mission to spend the Summer of 2010 dating as many men as possible. My only initial criteria was attraction. My only limitation was - no love and no structured relationships. This is my date by date tale of what life can be like outside of the goals of relationships and love.