This is a compilation of messages in my online dating inbox. Enjoy.
Major props on the hair, seriously. It's the hair cut of the gods. I've had that cut for like, god damn, 9 years now at least. Hair is for pussies. I think we'd get along just grand. When should we start making mistakes? Perhaps I've made one (or more) already.
C'est la vie.
Hair is for pussies?
Here in Houston for days, Here is a little something to brighten your day (This track is lovely)
The message not so bad. The music, however ....
But everyone used it as chip dip when it was clearly a dessert topping. Now I'm a completely serious and somber person.
Your guess is as good as mine.
This is simple and to the point, but I am not sure how to respond to this one.
Hi there. I'm $@#^.
I just found your profile and wanted to write to say hello and see if we could chat. But there's a little confusion... are you up north now, or just visiting Houston for the summer?
I'll be up front and explain that I'm not necessarily looking for a full relationship kind of thing. I'm just kind of looking for someone cool to get to know and hang with, and then see where it leads.
But what are your thoughts about age? Something you are open minded about? Is it just a number, or just a state of mind? Do you like guys that are older than you? Can you be cool hanging out with a guy who's a little older and more mature?
Well, check out my profile, and I hope to hear back from you.
Wonder if he's older than me....?
Did you go to Northeastern?
I didn't but I'd like to know because you seem legit.
Legit people only go to Northeastern.
Are you really attending a college in New England? The reason I ask is because that's where I'm from.
I didn't respond.
The next day, I got this from the same guy ...
Hey...sorry my email wasn't hilarious. Thought I'd say hi based on a commonality. But maybe that part of your profile was supposed to be funny. Who knows..
Hi Hoe. How are you?
Did he just call me a hoe?