Thursday, July 22, 2010

The Lover

In my post on Online Dating, I briefly mentioned The Lover. I told you guys I would come back to him. Here goes. I have been on two dates with The Lover. I met him on a site and we met for our first date in the middle of the day. We had lunch and a beer and then decided to go for coffee.
He picked me up and we set out. I think 5 minutes passed before he started telling me things he liked about me. This was all great. He was handsome and pursuing his dream of owning his own business. He was great on paper and so far, not so bad in real life. We had lunch and it was nice. I wouldn't say its the strongest connection I have ever had with a man, but I was definitely not ready to throw him out with yesterday's trash. He was fun.

The thing about The Lover is, he came on strong and fast. Too strong and too fast. By the time we were at the coffee shop, he was holding my hand and kissing me in front of others. Another note on me - not big on public affection ... it's a great way to get me to start lacing up the running shoes. I see it as a form of territory marking and, let's face it, I am no one's territory but my own. Anyone could have walked into that coffee shop and gotten the wrong idea.

He took me home and we agreed to see each other again. He was respectful and he was cute. He was not out of the game altogether, but he was teetering.

After about a week, I agreed to see The Lover again. He picked me up and we went to lunch again. He was ok this time. He enjoys busting my balls, which is fine. But, he also enjoys making observations on every facial expression and movement. Not ok. But, I gave him a pass, because he was still cute and kind. After lunch, we went to the movies. It was a dark room and no one was in the theatre. We kissed and 'fooled around' for a bit when we were alone, then another couple came into the theatre. Another side note - He tried to give me a hickey. I do not like the territory marking. This dude was up to no good. Then ... (record screeches to a halt) I'll be damned if this chick didn't start giving this dude head in the theatre. Either that or she dropped a contact and he really enjoyed her looking for it.

I was grossed out. We all know I am no prude, but it was too much and too public for me. Not to mention, dude was at least twice her age and the circumstances around why they were doing this in a theatre in the middle of the day kept swarming my mind. Ugh. I didn't want to know.

Back to The Lover. After the movie ended, he took me home and kissed me goodbye. His come on was still strong. If you remember, I am not big on kissing if I don't care about the guy and this guy was all about kissing. It's hard to tell someone you don't want to kiss them, so I just pulled away. But, I am sure he could feel the resistance. The chemistry just wasn't there. I thought that would be it for him. I wasn't even sure if I would blog about him...

Then, the stars aligned and he gave me the most amazing gift he could have. He hit one of my friends up on the dating site we both used. I got a text from her asking if (his handle) was The Lover. He had sent her a message. Of course he had. She's gorgeous. So, she told him that it was nice hearing from him and she had heard a lot of good things about him from her friend, Poly. He was really sweet about it and texted me to tell me he had chatted with a friend of mine.

Lesson: It's a small dating world, people. Two attractive friends on the same dating site are bound to turn up a few similar guys. No harm, no foul. Everyone got a good laugh and lived happily ever after. I am still not sure if I will see The Lover again. But I am sure he will meet a nice lady. He has a lot to offer someone and he is obviously casting his net.

At least the movie was good.

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About Me

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I am the product-child of the Women's Lib movement. I have a grade A education, a promising career and no immediate goal for children or a spouse. I will be 30 this year and I have spent many years in monogamous relationships. In and out of 1 to 2 year relationships, I always dated with the goal of meeting someone special. Most of the time I didn't date. Most of the time I found myself falling into relationship after relationship. These relationships were doomed to fail. They were all built on expectations that were, for me, unattainable. I love meeting new people. I find sex enjoyable and empowering and I am not happy when I am monogamous. So, after my last break-up, after taking some time to grieve, I decided to cut my societal puppet strings and get back in the game. I set out on a mission to spend the Summer of 2010 dating as many men as possible. My only initial criteria was attraction. My only limitation was - no love and no structured relationships. This is my date by date tale of what life can be like outside of the goals of relationships and love.
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