Thursday, July 29, 2010

The Serial Dater's Definitions - A Good Man

My friend Locke hit me up earlier today and asked me to consider "Defining a 'Good Man.'" At first I thought this was totally out of my range. I have been following all these women's relationship, sex and love blogs. You have to know your options, so I like to keep an eye on the other side. Make sure my grass is still the greenest. So, this topic sounded like something I would see on one of those blogs. Top Ten Qualities You Want in a Husband, not my style. Categorizing men so arbitrarily seemed impossible, but as I thought more about it, I decided I can tackle this. Why not? So here it is ...
_____________________________________________

The Serial Dater's Definitions:

A Good Man [good] [man]

-noun, plural - men

1. funny, generous, self-reliant, not on the bus (one of us has to have a car), open-minded, not looking for a relationship, free of STDs, more than functionally-literate, creative, kind, well-endowed, available
_________________________________________________________

So, these are the first qualities that come to mind, but even as I was typing I was thinking this is not me. I like the idea of these things, but there are good men for different things. So here's that breakdown. No crazies.

  1. A Good Text/Instant Message Man - He's witty. I don't really care how great he looks, if he lives with his folks or has a job or car. We will just exchange funny texts every once in a while anyway. *This can also be any of the following men gone wrong. You can be demoted.
  2. The Good One Night Stand Man - I have to be very physically attracted to him. If that's all he's there for, he has to be a 9, at least. He's good in bed, free of disease. Has his own place, so we have somewhere to go. He has change for a dollar so I can catch the bus in the morning.
  3. The Good Every Once in a While Man - Same requirements as above. In addition to being able to make change, he should occasionally be able to give me a ride home, like when it rains.
  4. The Good Repeat Man - All of the above and a job or passion that keeps him busy and paying his bills. My friends should like him. He's not my boyfriend, but he's bound to be around my friends occasionally. I have to have a crush on him. He's super smart and kinda nerdy. This is the one I like. The "bottom man," if you will. He will probably eventually be a friend, instead of falling by the wayside.
  5. The Good Marrying Man - He needs to have the sense to know I'm not that lady. He should just keep his distance, lest he be very disappointed.

That having been said, I never set out and look for these things in anyone. If a guy approaches me and is cute, clean, doesn't frequently hang on Washington and he has good breath, I will give him a chance. After talking for a bit, I can decide if I want to move forward. This is normally a very organic process. Whether in person or online, stuff just takes a flow of its own. It's different for every guy. Some guys won't get past the Text/Instant Message Stage. And a lucky few will have a dope friend for life.


No comments:

Post a Comment

About Me

My photo
I am the product-child of the Women's Lib movement. I have a grade A education, a promising career and no immediate goal for children or a spouse. I will be 30 this year and I have spent many years in monogamous relationships. In and out of 1 to 2 year relationships, I always dated with the goal of meeting someone special. Most of the time I didn't date. Most of the time I found myself falling into relationship after relationship. These relationships were doomed to fail. They were all built on expectations that were, for me, unattainable. I love meeting new people. I find sex enjoyable and empowering and I am not happy when I am monogamous. So, after my last break-up, after taking some time to grieve, I decided to cut my societal puppet strings and get back in the game. I set out on a mission to spend the Summer of 2010 dating as many men as possible. My only initial criteria was attraction. My only limitation was - no love and no structured relationships. This is my date by date tale of what life can be like outside of the goals of relationships and love.
There was an error in this gadget