Thursday, July 22, 2010

The Friends

I have been catching up with a lot of old friends, recently. Being home has been great, not only for dating, but for chillin' with my girls. I have always been one of those girls that has a lot of guy friends. But as I get older, I really really appreciate my girlfriends. They are attentive, trustworthy and they always bring the fun. All the dating would not be nearly as fun if I didn't have women with which to share my story and from which to hear hilarious tales of ... all sorts of things.

We are not your average batch of women. We are a new generation, we are finding our voices and not a whole lot of light has been shone on 'our kind.' We come in all shapes and colors. Here's the run-down.

You know Lynn. She is strong, sexy, funny and she owns her own business. She has not been in a long-term relationship in 5 years and she has her ups and downs with it. I think she still questions the 'why?' of it; at times, putting the weight of it on things out of her control: the guys she likes are unattainable for one reason or another. I see the truth to be, she is dating unattainable guys, because at this point in life, she can't afford to fall in love. She can't afford monogamy right now. When Lynn walks into a room, she is immediately drawn to the man staring out the window. She will step over the piles of men falling at her feet, and never even notice they were there, to get to the one moody, unattainable artist in the room and she will probably end up buying his drink. I have never known her to seek a relationship. Her passion is in her work and her friends. Oh is her passion in her friends. This puts her at the top of the list. This chick would cut someone for me. But, she might also cut me if I really fucked up. This makes her worth her weight in gold. If I found a dead hooker in my trunk, I would call Lynn first.

Lisa is my sister. She is not in the number 2 spot. She's family. She and I have always been really close. We grew apart for a bit, but we are back as strong as ever. Lisa is married. She has a baby and one on the way. She is a stay at home mom. She is super witty. I can attribute a fair amount of wit to Lisa. She's off the wall and she's a great sister. I force her to listen to my tales of dating and she does it with a half cringe half smile. She finds the humor while holding back the puke. I love this woman. We are so similar and so different.

B is on a dating rampage. This girl is new to me and she is off the Richter. I loved her from jump street and I love her more and more with every day. And if B and I hadn't become instant friends, I would have probably hit on her. But B's earned her space in the friend category and we all know that is a more permanent category for me. She's new, folks. We will see where this goes. But, even this soon into the game, she comes in as number 3. Yep. She's just that good.

Ashley grew up down the street from me. She and I lost touch for about 15 years, but we found each other and we are rebuilding. Funny how easy it is when you come from the same place. I love this girl. She is married with 5 kids. Yes, 5. She's been married for 11 years. She's one of my biggest supporters right now and even after all the years away, we can talk about anything. ANYTHING.

Another noteworthy friend is Bella. Bella and I haven't hung out in a while. She and I were both lil' scenesters in our early 20's and we have kept in touch over the years. We were never really close, but she hit me up the other day and asked if I wanted to grab coffee. Then I had a stroke of genius. I am going to meet a new guy on Saturday. He's bartending at a downtown bar, and offered free drinks, so I asked Bella if she wouldn't mind coming along. This chick is beautiful, smart and charming. Just the kind of girl I want on my arm when I meet a new guy. She accepted. Meet Bella, the Wingwoman.

These are the main players. Lynn and I roll with a crew of bad bitches: you will meet more as we go.

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About Me

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I am the product-child of the Women's Lib movement. I have a grade A education, a promising career and no immediate goal for children or a spouse. I will be 30 this year and I have spent many years in monogamous relationships. In and out of 1 to 2 year relationships, I always dated with the goal of meeting someone special. Most of the time I didn't date. Most of the time I found myself falling into relationship after relationship. These relationships were doomed to fail. They were all built on expectations that were, for me, unattainable. I love meeting new people. I find sex enjoyable and empowering and I am not happy when I am monogamous. So, after my last break-up, after taking some time to grieve, I decided to cut my societal puppet strings and get back in the game. I set out on a mission to spend the Summer of 2010 dating as many men as possible. My only initial criteria was attraction. My only limitation was - no love and no structured relationships. This is my date by date tale of what life can be like outside of the goals of relationships and love.
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