Monday, July 19, 2010

My Trip to Meet a Stranger (The Beautiful One)

It was a Tuesday when I got an instant message from The Beautiful One. We had video chatted. He had sent a text. I hadn't answered. This was not because I didn't want to talk to him specifically, but the past week had been about downtime. I hadn't felt like meeting anyone or spending time with any guys I already knew. I just wanted to be with me.

The instant message said "Have you gotten any?" A little crass, but I'm not that delicate, so I didn't really mind. I did have to wonder about this message, but I try not to read too much into the stuff guys say. I just replied "Nope. Been taking it easy." The conversation went in circles around us meeting and I really wasn't sure what I felt like doing. Then, he suggested I just come to his place. I should bring my laptop and we will chill. If you read earlier posts, you know that 'chillin' had never really come into our conversations. I had been bold enough to suggest we meet for sex about a week earlier and, since then, we had pretty much known the score with one another. But, the idea of hanging out at his place and having sex, instead of writing in my living room, sounded pretty appealing. I thought on it and batted the idea back and forth with him for a bit.

Ok. This was the deal. I take the bus into the city and he picks me up. I bring my laptop to stay entertained, we would chill, have sex and he would take me home. So I checked the bus schedule and caught the next bus into town.

I take the bus into town a few times a week; to meet up with friends or go on dates. This was the first time I had ever taken the bus to meet a man and have sex with him. I left my house at around 5 and the trip into town is about 45 minutes. While riding the bus I had the time to think of all the possibilities of what was in store for me this evening. I thought of the good things that could happen and, of course, my brain drifted into the not so good things that could happen. This was the first time I had left the house with pepper spray and a condom. This was also the first time I left the house with a 50/50 chance of using either a condom or pepper spray. That's a gross exaggeration of probability. The odds were much higher that I would use the condom. But, I had thought about it hard and I had taken some simple steps to ensure my safety:

* I had done a few video chats with the guy to make sure he was the same guy from the pics. I would never consider meeting a guy without a video validation that he was who he said.
* I knew the area well. I had lived there for 10 years.
* I had borrowed Lisa's (my sister's) pepper spray. She and my mother both knew I was going to meet a man.
* I had texted Lynn his address, his handle on the site, his name and his phone number.

I got to the bus stop and found a good place to meet him. I texted him from the gas station across the street from the stop. Never have I felt more like a prostitute. Not because I actually felt cheap or like I was selling myself, but because this isn't the best part of town and I was sharing a curbside spot with what appeared to be ... a prostitute. I relocated. The whole process was hilarious to me. I had taken a bus into town and was now waiting at a super gully gas station for a guy I had never met to pull up and take me back to his house. He called. "I'm here."

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About Me

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I am the product-child of the Women's Lib movement. I have a grade A education, a promising career and no immediate goal for children or a spouse. I will be 30 this year and I have spent many years in monogamous relationships. In and out of 1 to 2 year relationships, I always dated with the goal of meeting someone special. Most of the time I didn't date. Most of the time I found myself falling into relationship after relationship. These relationships were doomed to fail. They were all built on expectations that were, for me, unattainable. I love meeting new people. I find sex enjoyable and empowering and I am not happy when I am monogamous. So, after my last break-up, after taking some time to grieve, I decided to cut my societal puppet strings and get back in the game. I set out on a mission to spend the Summer of 2010 dating as many men as possible. My only initial criteria was attraction. My only limitation was - no love and no structured relationships. This is my date by date tale of what life can be like outside of the goals of relationships and love.
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