Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Letters From Readers - Locked In Monogamy

Dear Poly,

I've recently started reading your blog and wish I had your boldness. At 40 something I am so locked (or feel that I am) into the "monogamous" relationship scenario that I spend most of my time alone. I'm an attractive African American woman. I've got nice curves and a cute face. However I seem to attract men who are attached to someone else. Not necessarily married but "attached" to someone else. I met a man who loved the hell outta me and he was perfect in every way. Ever had sex with a man that could keep you wet for hours? No exaggeration he knew how to hit it so it never dried up or got raw and I knew that if he took his socks off (LMAO) we'd be in that bed for at least 3 hours non-stop. Yep he was married. The ONLY married guy I ever got involved with. He was followed by a single guy who'd recently broken up with his girlfriend because he was soo unhappy with her. I knew I should've forced myself to see other men but I couldn't (the curse) and I got caught up and made myself available to him all the damn time and guess what...

he ain't over her and guess who now is alone? So I'm pushing to liberate myself. Get beyond the taboo of sex and sexuality and what is DATING for me. I'll keep reading and getting inspiration from you...


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About Me

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I am the product-child of the Women's Lib movement. I have a grade A education, a promising career and no immediate goal for children or a spouse. I will be 30 this year and I have spent many years in monogamous relationships. In and out of 1 to 2 year relationships, I always dated with the goal of meeting someone special. Most of the time I didn't date. Most of the time I found myself falling into relationship after relationship. These relationships were doomed to fail. They were all built on expectations that were, for me, unattainable. I love meeting new people. I find sex enjoyable and empowering and I am not happy when I am monogamous. So, after my last break-up, after taking some time to grieve, I decided to cut my societal puppet strings and get back in the game. I set out on a mission to spend the Summer of 2010 dating as many men as possible. My only initial criteria was attraction. My only limitation was - no love and no structured relationships. This is my date by date tale of what life can be like outside of the goals of relationships and love.