Saturday, July 17, 2010

Online Dating

I signed up for all the reasons one signs up for a dating site, mainly to meet new people. At first, I believed my motives were probably a bit different than those of the average person on a dating site. I would come to realize that my motivations were much like that of most of the men on the site. Online dating sites are great for the Serial Dater. However, occasionally the Serial Dater's arch nemesis pops up. He is known as The Serial Monogamist and he wants a relationship immediately. This can be easy enough to weasel out of, assuming you can get past his gushing professions of love. This is pretty unpleasant. We'll come back to this guy.

For now, I want to talk about the dick pics, the angry messengers and "Nigger D." (I know, I know. The last one was offensive to all of us. Trust me ... it gets worse.)

There isn't much to say about the dick pics. They are just that. They are unsolicited pics of some strangers genitalia. They catch you off guard and they invade your eyes by making you see parts of a man that you would otherwise never have chosen to view. I enjoy pics of men that I am attracted to, preferably men I know and have an intimate relationship with. However, I have no interest in seeing BigDaddy773's dick in my inbox.

The Angry Messenger is an interesting type of guy. He will send you a wink or a flirt or whatever your site of choice calls it. If you don't answer, he will send you a message. Then, he will send you another message telling you that you could have at least thanked him for the compliment. Then he might even try to instant message you if the site has this feature. "You can't even say 'hi' or 'thank you?'" No. I can't. One of the appealing features of online dating is that I don't have to talk to you if I don't want to. I don't have to make up some excuse to get away or out of the conversation. I can just press delete. And that is what I am about to do, AngerIssues007.

And now, on to ... "Nig ..." I can't type it again. It's just so bad... I made up all the other names in this blog. Every name is my creation, except this one. I take no responsibility for this doozie. This was his own form of self-promotion.
Also, this is not a type of guy. This is a specific dude that not only gave himself a harsh (not to mention, very strange) name, but has to have the funniest profile I have ever seen. My homeboy and I had a great time perusing this dude's 'About Me' section. Here are a few of the questions along with the oh so hilarious answers this guy gave:

My favorite books, movies, music, and food

I like all books, movies, music, and food in the world.

(Everything in the world. He likes it all.)

The six things I could never do without

Money,me,hot girls,tv,car,family.

(It's nice to know that he cannot do without himself.)

I spend a lot of time thinking about

At school and at my job.

(Did he think they meant where do you do most of your thinking? And if so, didn't he find this question odd at all?)

On a typical Friday night I am

AT my house sleepy or at work.

(I just love that he's not at his house sleepING, just at his house 'sleepy.')

The most private thing I’m willing to admit

I love chatting with the ladies.


I don't know what made me more uncomfortable, this dude's shirtless pics or the fact that we were given a 35% compatibility... sad.

So, my online experience had been solely for comic relief. And then, I got a response from The Beautiful One. Thank you, Online Dating Gods. Stay tuned...

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About Me

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I am the product-child of the Women's Lib movement. I have a grade A education, a promising career and no immediate goal for children or a spouse. I will be 30 this year and I have spent many years in monogamous relationships. In and out of 1 to 2 year relationships, I always dated with the goal of meeting someone special. Most of the time I didn't date. Most of the time I found myself falling into relationship after relationship. These relationships were doomed to fail. They were all built on expectations that were, for me, unattainable. I love meeting new people. I find sex enjoyable and empowering and I am not happy when I am monogamous. So, after my last break-up, after taking some time to grieve, I decided to cut my societal puppet strings and get back in the game. I set out on a mission to spend the Summer of 2010 dating as many men as possible. My only initial criteria was attraction. My only limitation was - no love and no structured relationships. This is my date by date tale of what life can be like outside of the goals of relationships and love.