Friday, March 18, 2011

I Hope They Serve Fries In Hell

So, my flight to Houston was delayed for about 4 hours.  I found myself at the Hartford Airport staring at a wall, then it occurred to me ... "Snacks."  I hopped up and made my way to the nearest kiosk to see what kind of tasty treats they had to offer.  As I was browsing the treats, another sort of treat caught my eye. It was one that I prefer over food any day of the week.  No, it wasn't a man, it was the only thing in the airport that wasn't heavily overpriced. Books.

I quickly ditched the sweets and started browsing the books.  I looked at magazines first, thinking I could indulge my shoe and clothing fetish by treating my eyes to a buffet of fashion.  Nothing really caught my eye.  The photo on the cover of Vogue was awful and all I could think of was how the photographer and designer got that horrible pic past the editor.  I put it down and went to the books.

I looked over some inspirational softcovers. There were a few romance novels.  As much as I am into romance and inspiration, I'm just not that kind of woman.  I can't be sold the handbook to making me a better person.  So, I kept looking.  Then, it caught my eye. I was looking for Aldous Huxley's Brave New World, because my ex told me I should read it.  This wasn't it.  The book that grabbed me was another one people have been telling me I should read.  It's less of a classic.  It really can't be considered literature.  And it was exactly what I was in the mood for.

The cover is a black matte finish with a picture of a man holding what appears to be a champagne bottle in one arm, with his other arm around a blond woman with a cutout on her face that read "Your Face Here." The book was Tucker Max's I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell.  I bought it.

The book is an account of one man's journey into as many bottles and beds as possible.  Everyone has praised this man as one of the biggest assholes of our time. I started reading and before I knew it, the stares started.  I was sleep deprived and hungry, so I was finding it difficult to hold the laughter back.

He is a jerk.  Let there be no doubts about that.  But, he's not as bad as everyone made him out to be.  Sure, he has chapters called Tucker Fucks a Fat Girl and he's less than a good person.  He's a middle class white boy from Kentucky.  He did a lot of dirt in college and he drinks more than he should at times.  He has asshole/douchebag friends that have racist tendencies and lack tact.  But, it's not exactly cutting edge.  He's every other white boy of his age group.  The only difference is, he can write.

I would suggest the book, if you want to laugh.  Nothing in it really shocked me.  Tucker fucks fat chicks, then makes fun of the whole thing.  He tries to get a midget in the sack.  He's overall self-interested and has little care for the feelings of others. He doesn't tell the women he's sleeping with what he is doing and he downright denies being a "player" at times.  So, he's a drunk, a liar and down to fuck any and everyone, so that he can make fun of them and the situation later.  It is what it is.  Read it if you can suspend anger and laugh at funny, dumbass stories.

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About Me

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I am the product-child of the Women's Lib movement. I have a grade A education, a promising career and no immediate goal for children or a spouse. I will be 30 this year and I have spent many years in monogamous relationships. In and out of 1 to 2 year relationships, I always dated with the goal of meeting someone special. Most of the time I didn't date. Most of the time I found myself falling into relationship after relationship. These relationships were doomed to fail. They were all built on expectations that were, for me, unattainable. I love meeting new people. I find sex enjoyable and empowering and I am not happy when I am monogamous. So, after my last break-up, after taking some time to grieve, I decided to cut my societal puppet strings and get back in the game. I set out on a mission to spend the Summer of 2010 dating as many men as possible. My only initial criteria was attraction. My only limitation was - no love and no structured relationships. This is my date by date tale of what life can be like outside of the goals of relationships and love.
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