Okay folks. There's a bit of me that has been dormant a little too long. All this talk of possible relationships and goals and my future out of college have led me astray. As spring strikes and summer nears, I can practically smell the fresh new men waiting just around the season... wait ... fresh new men and smelling sound kinda gross together. But, you get the idea. Spring has sprung. And so am I.
So, forget all of the romance and courting. That's all nonsense meant for the bitter cold days of winter. I put on a dress today. Do you know how long it's been since my legs have been free from the oppression of pants? Do you know how long it's been since my vagina has seen sunlight? Of course you don't. Because I haven't been writing about sex. Quite frankly, I have been writing about and doing everything but sex.
That's not totally true. I have had a little bit of sex. It's no where near the volume I am used to, but it's probably normal for the average libido. So, in honor of my dress. In honor of spring, the next few posts will be all about sex. It's a recap of the sex I've had, the sex I want to have and the sex I will never have again.
Let's begin, with the 21 year old. On my trip back to Houston about 5 months back, I met a young man. Yes, young. He was actually younger than I would normally consider. He flirted and he asked me to come out and meet him one night. I did. He was funny and we made out a little. He wanted to get together and have sex. He was pretty frank about it. But, I was still on the fence. I thought it would be nice. Lewis and I had stopped sleeping together, The Beautiful One and I had long been on the outs. I had slept with one slightly clingy guy and other than that, I didn't really have many guys on-call in Houston, anymore. We made plans to hook up. I wasn't super into the idea. I mean I was interested, but I wasn't interested enough to jump at the opportunity, so I was dragging my feet. He could tell and I wasn't overly feeling it. So, one day, after I gave him some excuse of why I couldn't come out, he sent me a text. It was simple enough. And it did the job. I went to meet him (at his parents' house) the next day.
I know what your wondering... What could he have sent that would cause me to drive across town and have sex with him at his parent's house the very next day? Well, wonder no more. It was his dick. And it wasn't just any dick. It was huge. HUGE. Don't underestimate this. I showed the pic to my friend and she insisted that it was fake because it was shrouded in red boxer briefs. But, when I showed the one that followed it, bearing nothing but a hand, she started singing a different tune. Yeah, it was real and unreal all at once. Afterward, my friend kept texting me asking if I was going to go meet WonderDick. I had to do it for her (and me). Take one for the team, ya know. I would have to pay the young man a visit.
I was there a grand total of about an hour. And that's from the point of exiting my vehicle to the point of reentering my vehicle. I actually hadn't even made it out of his front door before my best friend called to see how it was. Was it good? Did it hurt? Was it really that big in person? It was, indeed. It was HUGE, indeed. And he was pretty good in bed. I can only imagine what he'll be like when he gets to be my age. I hope the 48 year old me runs into the 40 year old him. That will be a pleasant surprise. But in the long run, that day wasn't spectacular. I drove all the way across town to get some Chick-Fil-A, topped off by empty midday sex with some guy that had the biggest dick around. I'm sure I'll see him around town and when I do, I'll smile. But, I doubt I will ever pay WonderDick another visit.
So, forget all of the romance and courting. That's all nonsense meant for the bitter cold days of winter. I put on a dress today. Do you know how long it's been since my legs have been free from the oppression of pants? Do you know how long it's been since my vagina has seen sunlight? Of course you don't. Because I haven't been writing about sex. Quite frankly, I have been writing about and doing everything but sex.
That's not totally true. I have had a little bit of sex. It's no where near the volume I am used to, but it's probably normal for the average libido. So, in honor of my dress. In honor of spring, the next few posts will be all about sex. It's a recap of the sex I've had, the sex I want to have and the sex I will never have again.
Let's begin, with the 21 year old. On my trip back to Houston about 5 months back, I met a young man. Yes, young. He was actually younger than I would normally consider. He flirted and he asked me to come out and meet him one night. I did. He was funny and we made out a little. He wanted to get together and have sex. He was pretty frank about it. But, I was still on the fence. I thought it would be nice. Lewis and I had stopped sleeping together, The Beautiful One and I had long been on the outs. I had slept with one slightly clingy guy and other than that, I didn't really have many guys on-call in Houston, anymore. We made plans to hook up. I wasn't super into the idea. I mean I was interested, but I wasn't interested enough to jump at the opportunity, so I was dragging my feet. He could tell and I wasn't overly feeling it. So, one day, after I gave him some excuse of why I couldn't come out, he sent me a text. It was simple enough. And it did the job. I went to meet him (at his parents' house) the next day.
I know what your wondering... What could he have sent that would cause me to drive across town and have sex with him at his parent's house the very next day? Well, wonder no more. It was his dick. And it wasn't just any dick. It was huge. HUGE. Don't underestimate this. I showed the pic to my friend and she insisted that it was fake because it was shrouded in red boxer briefs. But, when I showed the one that followed it, bearing nothing but a hand, she started singing a different tune. Yeah, it was real and unreal all at once. Afterward, my friend kept texting me asking if I was going to go meet WonderDick. I had to do it for her (and me). Take one for the team, ya know. I would have to pay the young man a visit.
I was there a grand total of about an hour. And that's from the point of exiting my vehicle to the point of reentering my vehicle. I actually hadn't even made it out of his front door before my best friend called to see how it was. Was it good? Did it hurt? Was it really that big in person? It was, indeed. It was HUGE, indeed. And he was pretty good in bed. I can only imagine what he'll be like when he gets to be my age. I hope the 48 year old me runs into the 40 year old him. That will be a pleasant surprise. But in the long run, that day wasn't spectacular. I drove all the way across town to get some Chick-Fil-A, topped off by empty midday sex with some guy that had the biggest dick around. I'm sure I'll see him around town and when I do, I'll smile. But, I doubt I will ever pay WonderDick another visit.
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