Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Out With The Old & Back In With ... The Old?

If you have read this blog from the beginning or spent any time around me personally, you know that I had two affairs in the past year that actually meant something to me.  I have had two bottom bitches, if you will. I am sure neither of them will appreciate my loving use of that term to describe them, but I am sure they understand that it's all in jest ... sort of.

I mean, they are the guys I would cut a dude for.  They are the ones that I talk to about stress in school and about my man issues.  They are the ones I call when a guy does something like ask me to spit in his mouth.  They are my friends.  I have guys I date and I have guys I sleep with.  But these two are my friends.  Of course, I am talking about Lewis and Marlon.

Lewis was my short romance of the summer and Marlon was my short romance of the Spring semester.  Never did I think anything was going anywhere with either of them.  I knew it was temporary and that made it easy.  We all knew the game and the rules from the beginning and this left little to no room for confusion or error.  This openness is why we were able to be friends.  It's what kept it all so clean and tidy.

Lewis and I sort of dated.  But mostly, we slept together and worked together on projects.  We motivated each other and we grew rather close.  He quickly became one of my favorite people and we soon decided we would stop sleeping together because our friendship had become too valuable.  Sex was the only thing that stood a chance of getting between us, so we cut it out.

Marlon, on the other hand... that was a different story.  Marlon and I slept together twice.  We talked a little and I fell head-over-heels for him in the most responsible way possible.  He read the blog and we talked openly about dating/sleeping with other people, without getting into detail or sharing too much.  It was all out in the open.  But, when we had sex, while we were having sex, I would have sworn I loved him.  Once he had exited my person and my town, I would return to my senses, but things were hot when they were hot.  I honestly consider Marlon a friend, but I don't really know how that happened.  I really can't tell you much about him.  I just know he makes me laugh and he's there if I need to talk.  I haven't really taken him up on that, but I know it's always an option.  The situation with Marlon is a bit different than the one with Lewis, because we never really called off the sex.  He just lives an hour and a half away and so, I didn't really feel it was necessary to declare an ending.  I thought it would just subtly and quietly declare itself.

Turns out, this isn't the case.  But, things with Marlon did calm.  I haven't seen him in months and our texts were pretty run of the mill ... Hellos and How ya doins.  Things with Lewis had been about the same.  We text the occasional "I miss you."  But, nothing much deeper than that.  The important thing is that I have never lost touch with either of them and the communication stays consistent and light. Until lately, that is ...

For some reason, these two basket cases decided to start texting me lovey, romantic shit at the same time.  Again, I call them basket cases with all the love in my heart.  But, what the hell?  Marlon is now asking if he can come visit.  We had talked about him attending my college prom (Oh yes, there will be a college prom story.)  But, I hadn't really expected him to.  Now, he's asking if he can come visit soon.  A part of me still thinks he won't come and that I can just play it off... but I am afraid I will be 'playing it off' all the way until he knocks on my door.  I might even be playing it off as he pulls down my draws. I don't know what to do about that one.

Then, there Drunk Text Lewis.  He's been texting me "Hello," just as he usually does. But the "I miss you"s have grown more frequent and we are being more flirtatious.  Yeah, I said we.  You know I'm giving these guys more than the cold shoulder.  I really liked both of them and they are my safe ones.  But, in the back of my mind, I wonder what's going on in the backs of their minds.  The other night, Lewis drunk-texted me and it was so fuckin sweet my photos were magenta for a week. (That was a lame photographer reference.  Sugar makes you see things with a slightly greener cast. So, if you've eaten sweets, you tend to compensate by trying to make your photos even and end up making them more magenta.  Well, that was hardly worth the time it took to type.) Anyway, he was flirting.  And it wasn't the type of flirting we normally do.  Maybe it was, but it left me a little leery.

So, now, I feel like I have to watch my back with these two.  I don't what either are up to.  Perhaps this is just the time of the year when we start to rekindle old flames.  Or, maybe they have been reading the blog and they see that I am calling someone "The Maybe Boyfriend."  Who knows?  I can't say I'm mad that Marlon texts me daily that he wants me or that Lewis is thinking of me while he's drunk and waiting in line at SXSW.  But, I will be on guard, because I don't trust this situation for one second.  Something has these two acting strange, and I am pretty damned curious about what that thing is.


  1. It's simple. It's the spring. They're twitterpated. Anything else you need me to solve for ya?

  2. I don't normally respond to comments. Actually, I never respond to comments ... But, Twitterpated? Please explain.

  3. It's been too long since you watched Bambi.

  4. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IEd25_Mzfjo


About Me

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I am the product-child of the Women's Lib movement. I have a grade A education, a promising career and no immediate goal for children or a spouse. I will be 30 this year and I have spent many years in monogamous relationships. In and out of 1 to 2 year relationships, I always dated with the goal of meeting someone special. Most of the time I didn't date. Most of the time I found myself falling into relationship after relationship. These relationships were doomed to fail. They were all built on expectations that were, for me, unattainable. I love meeting new people. I find sex enjoyable and empowering and I am not happy when I am monogamous. So, after my last break-up, after taking some time to grieve, I decided to cut my societal puppet strings and get back in the game. I set out on a mission to spend the Summer of 2010 dating as many men as possible. My only initial criteria was attraction. My only limitation was - no love and no structured relationships. This is my date by date tale of what life can be like outside of the goals of relationships and love.
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