Thursday, May 19, 2011

The Ambitious Text

I have long suspected that texting is ruining my dating life. I now know this to be true. It was never easy really. Dating hasn't been easy for anyone since the days of men hitting women over the head, and then, it was only easy for the man.  As a woman, I can't think of a time in which I would rather have lived.  I don't mean to sound ungrateful for the fact that I am dating, having sex, blogging about it and suffering little-to-no repercussions. I am offered an opportunity that few women in history have been fortunate enough to so freely attain. I am thankful. I don't mean to sound like my dating woes are anything worth complaining about.

That having been said, texting sucks. And for the very same reason that it sucks, I readily use it. That reason? It's convenient. It's easy. That convenience is alluring. It's safer. It's something to do when you are bored. It's so tempting. You don't want to talk on the phone? Not feeling up for confrontation?  Just text. It's easy. So, you can stop talking whenever you like. 

... But, if you should fail to stop talking in time, you canNOT take anything back. Nor, can you easily smooth over dumb statements. So, that very convenience that pulls you in can bite you in the ass. Serious conversations should not be handled over text. And way too frequently, lately, the texts have gone from lighthearted to heavy. It's not a good way to handle even the simplest of serious conversations. We've all had those texts that just didn't sound right. As frequently as we all say things we don't totally mean, I am worse when it comes to texting. 

As of late, I have been far more likely to text something I later regret than to say something that I later regret. Saying something I regret rarely happens lately. But, of course it does. When would I say anything at all? I only text. I have been on very few dates lately and I am not really talking to anyone, so I occasionally talk to The Almost Boyfriend or Lewis. I am texting a few new guys. But, at this point, there isn't much face-to-face time. 

So, I am going to start talking more and texting less. I have had some pretty unappealing text convos as of late and so I am laying off. I am going to fight the convenience of texting. If I want to have the conversation, I will have it on the phone or in person. If I don't want to have it, I just won't have it. I don't get to ride the fence anymore. This whole process is just trial and error. And, in the past year, I have discovered that all the texting is in error. It's time to stop texting and put my words where my mouth is. 


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About Me

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I am the product-child of the Women's Lib movement. I have a grade A education, a promising career and no immediate goal for children or a spouse. I will be 30 this year and I have spent many years in monogamous relationships. In and out of 1 to 2 year relationships, I always dated with the goal of meeting someone special. Most of the time I didn't date. Most of the time I found myself falling into relationship after relationship. These relationships were doomed to fail. They were all built on expectations that were, for me, unattainable. I love meeting new people. I find sex enjoyable and empowering and I am not happy when I am monogamous. So, after my last break-up, after taking some time to grieve, I decided to cut my societal puppet strings and get back in the game. I set out on a mission to spend the Summer of 2010 dating as many men as possible. My only initial criteria was attraction. My only limitation was - no love and no structured relationships. This is my date by date tale of what life can be like outside of the goals of relationships and love.
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