Monday, May 30, 2011

Safer Sex

Sex is never totally safe. Nothing is safe, to be honest. To live life is to risk dying. That having been said, if you value your life, you will take every precaution to preserve it. If you value your sex life, you will take every precaution to preserve that, as well.

There is a difference between knowing that things are not fully safe and just being reckless. So, while it is impossible to be sexually active and have 100% assurance that you are safe from all STDs, it's always a good idea to practice safer sex.

These are the things condoms protect against:

  • HIV and AIDS - You guys know this one. It's the one that tears down your immune system and strips your body of it's protection and defenses. It doesn't kill you outright. It's sneakier than that. It just breaks you down so you can't fight off the minor things that wouldn't have killed you without it. Then, it lets those things kill you. So, skip the barebacking and live through your next round with the common cold. 
  • Pregnancy - A one-night-stand is not usually the most opportune situation to get pregnant. Babies are wonderful. We all know this. But, unplanned pregnancies can be difficult and are most definitely life-changing. So, just wrap it up and save the amazing sensation for baby making.
Honestly, the research on everything else is spotty.  It's quite clear that condoms don't protect against herpes. So, what are you going to do?

Here's what ... use condoms. Be smart about sex and look at your partner. Not their face. You can't tell what they may or may not have by how they look on the outside. However, herpes is ugly and when someone is having an outbreak, it shows. This is also the time when you are most likely to catch The Herp. So, look at your partner, wrap it up and protect yourself.

We all know I enjoy sex. Therefore, I want to keep having it. But, I have to admit that I needed to slow down. So, I did. I won't be a hypocrite and I won't tell you to do as I say and not as I do. Just protect yourself.  Don't have sex to look for love. The strongest love you can find is the love for yourself. So, if you love yourself, protect yourself. You can't trust what others say. They aren't going to protect you like YOU can protect you.

But, you can also protect your partners. And you should. It's the right thing to do. So, get tested regularly. Know your body. Know your heart and know your mind. If you are using sex for an intimacy void, check yourself and figure out what you need. It's hard to protect yourself when your starving. If you are in need, realize it. Sex is a sticky sticky subject. (Puns always intended.) There is always emotion involved and there is always risk.

Just do your best to know you and to know your partners. And, because you can't know anyone fully, protect the unknown areas. Sex is great, but it's not as great as life. It's just one of the small parts that can make life better, unless it makes life worse. Be smart and be happy. Best wishes and self-love. 

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About Me

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I am the product-child of the Women's Lib movement. I have a grade A education, a promising career and no immediate goal for children or a spouse. I will be 30 this year and I have spent many years in monogamous relationships. In and out of 1 to 2 year relationships, I always dated with the goal of meeting someone special. Most of the time I didn't date. Most of the time I found myself falling into relationship after relationship. These relationships were doomed to fail. They were all built on expectations that were, for me, unattainable. I love meeting new people. I find sex enjoyable and empowering and I am not happy when I am monogamous. So, after my last break-up, after taking some time to grieve, I decided to cut my societal puppet strings and get back in the game. I set out on a mission to spend the Summer of 2010 dating as many men as possible. My only initial criteria was attraction. My only limitation was - no love and no structured relationships. This is my date by date tale of what life can be like outside of the goals of relationships and love.