While we're on the subject of my likes and dislikes in bed, I always disliked the thought of mixing food and sex. Well, I disliked the idea for the most part. I can't say I've really had much experience. But, for some reason, the idea of the stickiness of chocolate, or other sweet food items, seemed like more effort than it was worth.
The memory of how I USED to feel on this subject makes me realize how apt I am to change my mind on an issue. This is why I never say never and I never say always. My opinions can change day-to-day and I am always open to being proven wrong on a subject. And, my opinion on food and sex has definitely changed.
Nothing major happened to make me change my mind. I actually just remembered something that I hadn't thought about in a long time. It was a narrative memory that came over me the other day when I was eating a plate of melon and chatting with a friend about which melon is the superior melon. I personally love cantaloupe. But, my favorite fruit, overall, is mango.
Then, the memory came. In my early twenties, I shared a one-bedroom apartment with a roommate. She had the bedroom and I lived in the living room. There was one window unit in the apartment and it was in her room. So, I spent the summer of my 23rd year sweating it out. The living situation was pretty good other than the intense Texas heat. The living room had a door, so it was semi private (it opened up to the dining room and we had bamboo rugs hanging to block it off. Oh sorry, sex...
That summer was a lot like last summer, but with less air conditioning. I was single and dating pretty casually. But, there was this one crazy guy that I dated for a couple of weeks. We were young. So, it was still okay(ish) to not know what we were doing. All of my friends had side-jobs to follow their real passions of throwing parties in warehouses. So, he was a dj. I don't remember what his side-job was. But I'm sure it wasn't important. Point is, he was a little crazy and he didn't really have a day-job, so there was a lot of time for heat-stroke inducing mid-day sex.
One day he and I were sitting on the couch. This is the memory. We had come from the southwest side of Houston to my midtown/southside apartment and, on our way, we stopped and got some lunch. For dessert, we grabbed two mangos from a nearby market. So, we were sitting on the couch with our two bowls, pealing and eating our mangos. Mangos are messy. It's next to impossible to eat one whole and not end up with a sticky chin and hands. We exchanged slices to compare.
Then, in our usual fashion, we had sex on my twin sized mattress, in the sweltering Texas summer sun. It was always great to have sex in that room. It was hot and bright. There was no way to make it dark in there. Big windows overtook three walls. So, it wasn't just hot sex, it was well-lit hot sex. And, on this day, it was also tasty.
The sugar water from the mangos was still all over our lips and hands. His fingers tasted like mango and me and his lips were sticky and sweet. We were a mix of salty and sweet. We were sweaty and sticky and it was everything I had imagined I wouldn't like about involving food and sex. But, it was different.
It was great, because it was inadvertent. The sex hadn't called for food. The food had called for sex. We didn't plan out bringing chocolate syrup or whipped cream to the bed. We hadn't purchased the mangos thinking we would 'use' them in bed. We just got them because mangos are delicious. Nothing was planned. The mangos, the sun, the hot breeze blowing the curtains over my twin mattress, they were all just details ... Satisfying accents for an already satisfying act.
So, I think I like something about the idea now. I still can't say I would plan out to have food bedside for the occasion. But now that the thought is in my mind, I can't even think about a mango without thinking of that day. I tasted the fruit and I want more.
- Poly Amory
- I am the product-child of the Women's Lib movement. I have a grade A education, a promising career and no immediate goal for children or a spouse. I will be 30 this year and I have spent many years in monogamous relationships. In and out of 1 to 2 year relationships, I always dated with the goal of meeting someone special. Most of the time I didn't date. Most of the time I found myself falling into relationship after relationship. These relationships were doomed to fail. They were all built on expectations that were, for me, unattainable. I love meeting new people. I find sex enjoyable and empowering and I am not happy when I am monogamous. So, after my last break-up, after taking some time to grieve, I decided to cut my societal puppet strings and get back in the game. I set out on a mission to spend the Summer of 2010 dating as many men as possible. My only initial criteria was attraction. My only limitation was - no love and no structured relationships. This is my date by date tale of what life can be like outside of the goals of relationships and love.
- ▼ May (8)