Thursday, May 19, 2011

Home, Sweet Home

I graduated! I thought it would never happen. But, two days ago, I moved back to Houston. I am here 'for good.' I worked hard. I wanted this. And .. now .. I have to settle down.

That doesn't mean I have to settle down in all ways, of course ... only that I will be living in Houston full-time. So, I might have to change my approach a bit. Before, it was easy to keep it light and breezy, because I was always about to leave town. The most time I spent in one place was around 4 months. I was always just getting into town or just heading out. I didn't have time to develop anything. If I did create bonds, they were short-lived. They were always built on a foundation of impermanence. I never had to feel anything real.

This was good. I didn't need to be feeling "real" things for any of the guys you have heard about. The only things I needed to feel this past year were a variety of great orgasms and self love. This was a year of getting to know me. I went through months of lots of dates and months of no men at all. It was good. There were ups and downs and it was fun keeping up with all of it and learning as I went.

It didn't just make it easier for me. I think my transience was a desirable characteristic.  I think it made it easier for men. It also made it easier for them to say things that I felt were a bit less-than-honest. They could show interest that they might not have otherwise shown. It was safer, because I was always on my way out the door. I don't think I will miss this aspect.

So, no more guaranteed departures. I have to maneuver the next chapter in my dating life carefully. Who knows? Things might be just the same. My roots in Houston might not bring as much change as I am expecting. I have already had one date and it didn't seem to drastically different than the others... Maybe things in a permanent location will just be business as usual. Either way, it's good to be home. I am happy to be with my family. I am proud of the fact that I just finished a huge chapter of my life and accomplished something I wanted more than I have ever wanted any man. I have a degree. And victory is sweet, so I won't be stopping there. Stay tuned for the new adventures. I am excited to see what the future and this present hold.

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About Me

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I am the product-child of the Women's Lib movement. I have a grade A education, a promising career and no immediate goal for children or a spouse. I will be 30 this year and I have spent many years in monogamous relationships. In and out of 1 to 2 year relationships, I always dated with the goal of meeting someone special. Most of the time I didn't date. Most of the time I found myself falling into relationship after relationship. These relationships were doomed to fail. They were all built on expectations that were, for me, unattainable. I love meeting new people. I find sex enjoyable and empowering and I am not happy when I am monogamous. So, after my last break-up, after taking some time to grieve, I decided to cut my societal puppet strings and get back in the game. I set out on a mission to spend the Summer of 2010 dating as many men as possible. My only initial criteria was attraction. My only limitation was - no love and no structured relationships. This is my date by date tale of what life can be like outside of the goals of relationships and love.