Drunk Sex

There are plenty of good reasons why I don't have drunk sex. I generally just like to follow the rules and regulations that I impose upon myself. I don't usually have to be reminded of why. I don't like drunk sex. I remember that. So, I don't do it. Well, I don't normally do it. But, sometimes I slip up and I remind myself. This was one of those occasions.

So, in the wake of the ups and downs of the past few weeks, I made plans to see an old friend. I haven't said much about him. He's mentioned at the end of this post.  I referred to him as The Good Date for a while. Then, I eventually named him James.

He got here early. It was early evening, around 6ish. We started drinking immediately. We had planned to go to dinner, but that never happened. A couple of friends joined us and we had some laughs and more drinks. Before I knew it, I was laughing a bit louder and walking a bit looser. He's really funny and fun to be with. My friends enjoyed him and we all had a good time.

Fast forward to 9pm. My friends headed out and James and I finished off the bottle of vanilla vodka he had brought with him. The rest is a bit of a blur. Which is a shame, because I had really looked forward to blowing off some steam and having a night of healthy sex with a friend. I haven't had sex since Marlon's last visit. Is that true? I'm pretty sure that was the last time. Anyway, it's been a while either way. So, I was ready. The Maybe Boyfriend and I had ended everything and I needed a release.

What I did not need to do is give really 'amazing head' and have 'great sex' that I can barely remember. I needed those memories to get me through the next two weeks. I did not need to wake up wondering why my butt hurt or how I got changed into my night clothes. Why was my homegirl, Pam, asleep on my floor? And why was there a turkey sandwich in my bed? This is all 100% truth. I would never lie to you. There were Doritos too. My mind was left to wonder about all of it, until I got some questions answered. I mean I am not really sure that it's a big mystery that my hand smelled like a combination of balls and vanilla vodka, but I would like to remember the interaction with the balls that left their faint odor behind.

I get drunk about once every 3 to 4 months. And I rarely have sex while in this state. But, this is the second time I have gotten drunk with James and I am pretty sure he thinks I am a lush. I am also not usually an emotional drunk, but I do remember crying to James last night. What the bloody hell? I had a lot of questions for James and Pam. They all got answered. Nothing major happened. Everyone had a good time and James has been texting me funny shit all day. I have been finding condom wrappers all over my room all day.  But, I don't think anything happened here that can't be remedied by a can of Lysol and a shower. Moral of this story? I don't really think there is one. Sometimes you slip up and have a bottle of vodka, forget to go to dinner and then get ass did. Ce la vie.