Saturday, December 11, 2010

The Good Date Gets A Name

I had another date with The Good Date.  We are going to call him James.  After spending the past month talking every day and confiding in each other, I would say that James is a true friend.  He is sweet and encouraging.  I show him all of my photo projects waiting for praise and positivity.  I have some that I go to for real criticisms and critiques.  That's not James.  James and I play the role of putting each other in good moods and making jokes all day.  And yet, when I wake up feeling sad or lonely, I can text James and get a simple response, "I get it, Belle."  He calls me Belle.

So, James and I had our second date.  It was great.  He came bearing gifts.  He brought a bottle of whipped cream flavored vodka - Win.  And, he brought me boxing wraps and quick wraps, so I'll stop tearing up my knuckles when I do heavy bag work.  These gifts, especially the wraps were more about the gesture than the gift.  I mean, sure I will enjoy not having bruised and bloody knuckles.  Who wouldn't?  But, the gesture says that at some point when I wasn't around and we weren't in mid-conversation, he thought about me and made the effort to bring me something that he thought I needed.  The gloves, not the vodka.  But, I probably needed the vodka as well.  It is finals time.

So, he came over, we had a couple drinks, then we walked into town to have sushi.  It was was lovely.  We have the best conversations.  I don't even know where it gets started, but we talk about everything.  We mostly talk about relationships, but the conversations tend to jump all over the place.

When I first met James, I thought I might really like him.  The chemistry was great and we had a lot of funny conversations.  As things progressed, I didn't know where he was going to fall on the dating spectrum.  Turns out, I was right.  I do really like him.  But, it's not what I expected at all.  James is a constant.  He won't fade in and out.  I could see us being friends for a long time.  You hear about those friends that dated, but didn't really ever make anything of it. That is me and James. We will be those friends.

Lewis is another one of those.  The sex is great.  There is definitely love there, but it's not fully equipped with the passion and the magnetism that attracts and eventually repels.  Both of these guys will just be there.  I care for them and I want them to be a part of my life in the long run.

That having been said, the date was great, the sushi was delicious.  The drinks did their job and at the end of the evening, we had a fiery moment, had sex and and he let me take photos of his extremely sexy naked body.  It was great.  But, as I was drifting off, I had this feeling.  I was happy to have James in my bed.  I was happy to have had good sex with a friend.  It wasn't empty sex, but it wasn't full sex either.  So, as I drifted off, my mind was pulled toward someone that I didn't want to think about and I fell asleep wondering why I always want something other than what is sleeping peacefully by my side.

1 comment:

  1. I think you already know what you want but you just don't want to accept it.


About Me

My photo
I am the product-child of the Women's Lib movement. I have a grade A education, a promising career and no immediate goal for children or a spouse. I will be 30 this year and I have spent many years in monogamous relationships. In and out of 1 to 2 year relationships, I always dated with the goal of meeting someone special. Most of the time I didn't date. Most of the time I found myself falling into relationship after relationship. These relationships were doomed to fail. They were all built on expectations that were, for me, unattainable. I love meeting new people. I find sex enjoyable and empowering and I am not happy when I am monogamous. So, after my last break-up, after taking some time to grieve, I decided to cut my societal puppet strings and get back in the game. I set out on a mission to spend the Summer of 2010 dating as many men as possible. My only initial criteria was attraction. My only limitation was - no love and no structured relationships. This is my date by date tale of what life can be like outside of the goals of relationships and love.