Friday, December 24, 2010

Strip Clubs

I am a lot of things.  During this journey, I have realized that I am all over the place.  I am strong.  I am weak.  I am empowered by my sexuality and I am vulnerable, at times. Life is multifaceted and I just try to go with the flow.  This requires me to keep judgment at bay and to accept things as they come.  As much as possible, I avoid judging others and I avoid putting stock in the judgments others pass.  I am at a crossroads right now.

Last night, that crossroad had me thinking about a guy that I just met.  A guy that, if things go a certain way, would want me to stop dating other people.  I talked to him on the phone and thought about what that would mean in my life, as I drove to meet another guy that I had been chatting it up with on FB.  This guy was a friend of a friend.  I met him and he was interesting.  He's not like most of the guys I talk to.  He is all about talking business and he's covered in tattoos.  He was extremely sexy.  I might write about that experience another time.  For now, I will just say that he and I hung out for a while and then I left to meet up with some friends for a birthday gathering.  I met them at a bar that would have cost me twenty dollars to get into, but a gentleman outside was kind enough to pay my entry.  I thanked him and I went to join my friends. 

After about 10 minutes in the club, we decided that the party would move to the strip club.  I had known this is where the night would take us.  The guy who's birthday it was, was the brother of a friend of a friend.  And he was also a dj at a strip club.  Oh how I've missed Houston.  Aside from the fact that I have no problem going to a strip club, I was in Houston and I was out to celebrate the birthday of a guy that I had never met.  Who was I to protest?  Why would I want to?  So, to the strip club we went.  

Upon arriving and walking through the doors, it was just how I remembered it.  It's been a short while since I have been to a strip club, but the feeling never changes.  The looks you get as you cross the floor to find your seat are always the same.  The funny thing about walking into a strip club is that you have a whole different marketability in a strip club than you do in the world.  As a woman that attracts and is attracted to the other sex, you pick up one additional check mark.

In the world, you might have a list of things that make you a great catch: 
  • Funny
  • Smart
  • Pretty
  • Nice Body
  • Motivated
  • Educated
  • Good Career
  • Nice Family
There are many more.  But, when you walk into a strip club, you can possess all of these things.  You can be a beautiful brain surgeon or a political analyst.  If you are an attractive woman, once you are in a strip club, you gain one quality that tops all the others.  

When in a strip club, your number one quality that set you apart becomes:
  • Not a stripper
That's all you need.  A woman in a strip club that is not actually a stripper takes on a whole different mystique.  She has a whole new allure.  I am not totally sure what does it.  Maybe it's the fact that you are attractive?  Maybe it's that you allow them to use more imagination?  Maybe they are curious about why you are there?  Or, maybe it's just that you are free.  But, it is definitely a different sort of attraction.  It's not something you experience every day.  Rarely when you meet someone say at an event or a bookstore, does he throw in "and she's not a stripper" when he describes you to his friends.  It's just not a plus in the regular dating world.  But somehow, it never fails that in a sea of naked women, the one with clothes on can steal the attention, ever so briefly ... Before the men remember that there are asses shaking behind you.  

So, that was my revelation of the evening.  While the world buzzes around me and the future of my dating life hangs in the balance, I am glad that I can still enjoy the simple things in life.  It's nice to know that when home, I can take a time-out to sit back with friends and enjoy the view.  Some things never change.  Happy Holidays. 

1 comment:

About Me

My photo
I am the product-child of the Women's Lib movement. I have a grade A education, a promising career and no immediate goal for children or a spouse. I will be 30 this year and I have spent many years in monogamous relationships. In and out of 1 to 2 year relationships, I always dated with the goal of meeting someone special. Most of the time I didn't date. Most of the time I found myself falling into relationship after relationship. These relationships were doomed to fail. They were all built on expectations that were, for me, unattainable. I love meeting new people. I find sex enjoyable and empowering and I am not happy when I am monogamous. So, after my last break-up, after taking some time to grieve, I decided to cut my societal puppet strings and get back in the game. I set out on a mission to spend the Summer of 2010 dating as many men as possible. My only initial criteria was attraction. My only limitation was - no love and no structured relationships. This is my date by date tale of what life can be like outside of the goals of relationships and love.
There was an error in this gadget