Sunday, November 14, 2010

An End To Pretexts

After my date on Thursday, (We'll call him The Good Dater.)  I got a text that simply read, "So, did I make the blog?"  We had a perfectly good time.  We got along and had chemistry, but his first message wasn't "I had a good time" it was an inquiry of whether or not his performance had been worthy of a post.  Almost everyone gets a post.  The only people that get no sort of post at all are the really bad dates.  If I have nothing good to say, I say nothing at all.  So, he got a short post.  Not because it was bad, but because I had other things on my mind.

On Friday, I had my head on Marlon's (formerly The Newest Favorite) chest when he said it.  I am not sure who brought the blog up, but he hit the nail on the head.  He said something about the blog creating a problem.  Something along these lines ... Of course a guy is going to hit me back, because he wants a good write-up. I can't remember his exact words, but I know where it took my mind.  All of the men I am dating are performing.  Where I had wanted to be honest about the blog and live in a bed of total honesty, I have created a world of deception and distrust.  Men are performing for me, some only going out with me for a write up and some saying things that will put them in a favorable light in my eyes, in order to create a positive place for themselves in my mind.  As if being cheated on and heartbroken didn't create enough distrust, now I have this added element, that I have created.  The dating has become about the blog, instead of having a blog about dating.  That is useless to everyone and everything, except my libido.  But no one wants good sex that is bred out of ego or fear of a bad post. 

So, I am going to try something new.  I am not volunteering information about the blog.  I have dabbled with this before, but from here on out, I don't volunteer my URL.  There's no way for me to honestly know who really likes me and who is looking for a favorable review.  This will create peace of mind for me, less anxiety or nervousness for whomever I am dating and a more honest tale for you guys.  

And now .... The Tale Of Marlon or: Why I Think The First Time I've Made Love In A Very Long Time Was A Performance For My Benefit ... and ... Why This Post Proves I'm Jaded. 


  1. Yeah, I kinda knew this post was coming. of course, it's more organic if U figure it out for yourself. Your awesome personality combined with your talent for writing was gonna get U here sooner or later. I'm really looking forward to reading your stuff even more now.
    Oh, and the "Tale of Marlon"....classic.

  2. i thought it would come to this as well. seems like you might be able to hang on to a few of the types that were originally intimidated by the blog. could make for some new things to write about!


About Me

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I am the product-child of the Women's Lib movement. I have a grade A education, a promising career and no immediate goal for children or a spouse. I will be 30 this year and I have spent many years in monogamous relationships. In and out of 1 to 2 year relationships, I always dated with the goal of meeting someone special. Most of the time I didn't date. Most of the time I found myself falling into relationship after relationship. These relationships were doomed to fail. They were all built on expectations that were, for me, unattainable. I love meeting new people. I find sex enjoyable and empowering and I am not happy when I am monogamous. So, after my last break-up, after taking some time to grieve, I decided to cut my societal puppet strings and get back in the game. I set out on a mission to spend the Summer of 2010 dating as many men as possible. My only initial criteria was attraction. My only limitation was - no love and no structured relationships. This is my date by date tale of what life can be like outside of the goals of relationships and love.
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