Sunday, November 14, 2010

An End To Pretexts

After my date on Thursday, (We'll call him The Good Dater.)  I got a text that simply read, "So, did I make the blog?"  We had a perfectly good time.  We got along and had chemistry, but his first message wasn't "I had a good time" it was an inquiry of whether or not his performance had been worthy of a post.  Almost everyone gets a post.  The only people that get no sort of post at all are the really bad dates.  If I have nothing good to say, I say nothing at all.  So, he got a short post.  Not because it was bad, but because I had other things on my mind.

On Friday, I had my head on Marlon's (formerly The Newest Favorite) chest when he said it.  I am not sure who brought the blog up, but he hit the nail on the head.  He said something about the blog creating a problem.  Something along these lines ... Of course a guy is going to hit me back, because he wants a good write-up. I can't remember his exact words, but I know where it took my mind.  All of the men I am dating are performing.  Where I had wanted to be honest about the blog and live in a bed of total honesty, I have created a world of deception and distrust.  Men are performing for me, some only going out with me for a write up and some saying things that will put them in a favorable light in my eyes, in order to create a positive place for themselves in my mind.  As if being cheated on and heartbroken didn't create enough distrust, now I have this added element, that I have created.  The dating has become about the blog, instead of having a blog about dating.  That is useless to everyone and everything, except my libido.  But no one wants good sex that is bred out of ego or fear of a bad post. 

So, I am going to try something new.  I am not volunteering information about the blog.  I have dabbled with this before, but from here on out, I don't volunteer my URL.  There's no way for me to honestly know who really likes me and who is looking for a favorable review.  This will create peace of mind for me, less anxiety or nervousness for whomever I am dating and a more honest tale for you guys.  

And now .... The Tale Of Marlon or: Why I Think The First Time I've Made Love In A Very Long Time Was A Performance For My Benefit ... and ... Why This Post Proves I'm Jaded. 

2 comments:

  1. Yeah, I kinda knew this post was coming. of course, it's more organic if U figure it out for yourself. Your awesome personality combined with your talent for writing was gonna get U here sooner or later. I'm really looking forward to reading your stuff even more now.
    Oh, and the "Tale of Marlon"....classic.

    ReplyDelete
  2. i thought it would come to this as well. seems like you might be able to hang on to a few of the types that were originally intimidated by the blog. could make for some new things to write about!

    ReplyDelete

About Me

My photo
I am the product-child of the Women's Lib movement. I have a grade A education, a promising career and no immediate goal for children or a spouse. I will be 30 this year and I have spent many years in monogamous relationships. In and out of 1 to 2 year relationships, I always dated with the goal of meeting someone special. Most of the time I didn't date. Most of the time I found myself falling into relationship after relationship. These relationships were doomed to fail. They were all built on expectations that were, for me, unattainable. I love meeting new people. I find sex enjoyable and empowering and I am not happy when I am monogamous. So, after my last break-up, after taking some time to grieve, I decided to cut my societal puppet strings and get back in the game. I set out on a mission to spend the Summer of 2010 dating as many men as possible. My only initial criteria was attraction. My only limitation was - no love and no structured relationships. This is my date by date tale of what life can be like outside of the goals of relationships and love.
There was an error in this gadget