On Friday, I had my head on Marlon's (formerly The Newest Favorite) chest when he said it. I am not sure who brought the blog up, but he hit the nail on the head. He said something about the blog creating a problem. Something along these lines ... Of course a guy is going to hit me back, because he wants a good write-up. I can't remember his exact words, but I know where it took my mind. All of the men I am dating are performing. Where I had wanted to be honest about the blog and live in a bed of total honesty, I have created a world of deception and distrust. Men are performing for me, some only going out with me for a write up and some saying things that will put them in a favorable light in my eyes, in order to create a positive place for themselves in my mind. As if being cheated on and heartbroken didn't create enough distrust, now I have this added element, that I have created. The dating has become about the blog, instead of having a blog about dating. That is useless to everyone and everything, except my libido. But no one wants good sex that is bred out of ego or fear of a bad post.
So, I am going to try something new. I am not volunteering information about the blog. I have dabbled with this before, but from here on out, I don't volunteer my URL. There's no way for me to honestly know who really likes me and who is looking for a favorable review. This will create peace of mind for me, less anxiety or nervousness for whomever I am dating and a more honest tale for you guys.
And now .... The Tale Of Marlon or: Why I Think The First Time I've Made Love In A Very Long Time Was A Performance For My Benefit ... and ... Why This Post Proves I'm Jaded.