Thursday, January 13, 2011


Sex is something that used to happen in person.  A man and a woman, a woman and a woman, a man and a man or a group of folks used to have to be face to face or face to ??? in order to have sex. Then, technology started to see advances. It started quickly.  I am sure of it. Only days after the first cave drawing, some guy was asking his gal to hold still so he could etch her form into the wall of their one-bedroom cave.  That way he could look at her and rub one out while she was out with her girls cleaning fish or an elk or something.  (I don't know this to be fact, but I am almost willing to bet an ovary on it.)

Since the beginning of literature, there have been forms of erotica.  We might read it today and think "What tha?"  But, at the time, it was provocative and steamy. And, since the beginning of the photograph, people have been taking pics of genitalia. Google it and get ready to see the fullest bushes you have ever seen. It's great for "us," because it's a look at the history of erotica and porn. It was great for "them," because it was something to look at while they spanked it.

Soon, there would be moving pictures and not long after, there was silent pornography. Since, we have seen pornographic magazines, mass-print erotica and millions of millions of pornographic "films." And that was just up to the early 90's.

The past 15 years have brought about a plethora of new ways to see and experience sex without being in the presence of another person.  A combination of the internet and cell phones have brought us endless ways of sharing ourselves with others. Now, we can log on and watch strangers have sex or masturbate.  For the right price, we can even direct the porn we are watching, typing instructions from the comfort of our own beds and watching the story unfold somewhere on the other end.  I can snap a picture of my breasts and have it on the internet in 2 minutes. I can snap a picture of my vagina and have it sent to a man in one minute.

And, I have. I am guilty of sexting. I have sent nude photos and videos of myself out to men.  I don't know many women and men that don't do it. (Though I know there are women and men that would NEVER. There is no need to send an email or write a comment. I know you nonsexters are out there.)  I keep my face out of the pics for the most part, but I have tattoos and birthmarks that clearly show it's me. For a select few special men, I have sent a full nude with face included. But, for the most part, I leave men to play the role of a mental Frankenstein, working to piece it all together.

I am both a photographer and a writer, so my sexting doesn't end with the sending of nude pictures and videos via text and email.  I have shared stories of fantasies with the readers of this blog and I have traded erotica with men via email. The exchange of words is a huge turn on to me. I don't do it often.  I have had the rare experience of sending some pretty intense messages via Twitter DM. (This only happened once and it was a big surprise.) And, I have had one man write an erotic response to a post I wrote about him. I actually got that email tonight and it was a great surprise. I am sort of feeling this guy something extra.

In the end, sending naked pictures and videos of myself around to multiple men is probably not the smartest thing I have ever done.  I have a phone full of my naked body and the bodies of numerous men.  (I actually just went through and deleted all of them accept the ones of the email author mentioned above. Like I said, he's the current crush.)  So, maybe it's a bad idea.  But, just like I own my actions and my words, I also own my likeness and the idea to send it out to men (and more recently allow it to be published in a magazine) is my decision to make. I would hate to see myself on, but I can't control that, at this point.  It would feel like a violation if someone posted or made public the nudes of me, but it happens.  People have wound up nude on the internet in more deceptive ways.

So, I am sure if I should (for some unlikely reason) find fame in the future or if I should attempt to run for office, the pics of me in the bathtub will surface.  There might even be a video or two.  I will deal with that day if it comes.  But, for now, I will continue sending out pictures and getting pictures in return from the men I miss or am curious about.  I have done very few things that I regret.  All of the things that I have regretted ended in me hurting another person. Never, have I regretted something in my life because it embarrassed me.  Embarrassment happens.  The main thing I think about is "could these pictures ever hurt anyone?" The odds of that are very slim.  So, for now, I am going to adjust the lighting, get a good angle and press Send.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you.
    You have no idea what this post meant to me; but I want to say I'm so happy someone else feels the same way I do. you're brilliant.



About Me

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I am the product-child of the Women's Lib movement. I have a grade A education, a promising career and no immediate goal for children or a spouse. I will be 30 this year and I have spent many years in monogamous relationships. In and out of 1 to 2 year relationships, I always dated with the goal of meeting someone special. Most of the time I didn't date. Most of the time I found myself falling into relationship after relationship. These relationships were doomed to fail. They were all built on expectations that were, for me, unattainable. I love meeting new people. I find sex enjoyable and empowering and I am not happy when I am monogamous. So, after my last break-up, after taking some time to grieve, I decided to cut my societal puppet strings and get back in the game. I set out on a mission to spend the Summer of 2010 dating as many men as possible. My only initial criteria was attraction. My only limitation was - no love and no structured relationships. This is my date by date tale of what life can be like outside of the goals of relationships and love.