Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Crushes

Today, after hanging out with two friends, one confessed she had a crush on the other.  So, I was talking with said friend about said crush she has on our mutual (female) friend. (I didn't want there to be any pronoun confusion.)  As we were talking, as I was listening to her angst-ridden voice talk about all the inferences she makes. As she ran through all the ways she could see that our other friend didn't like her. "She definitely doesn't like me. But maybe she does. Do you feel the sexual tension?"  As she ran through all the different looks they had given each other, (all the underlying meanings), I wondered if I had just been in the same room with them?  Had I just been in the same conversation she was in?  It didn't feel awkward to me at all. I didn't feel any sexual tension. Am I just oblivious to the romantic nuances between others? Doubt it. The mind makes things up when we have a crush. We read way too much into things and we lose sight of reality.  Crushes are interesting all around.

Not only do we make things up in our minds, but there has to be a perfect formula of like, and/or oblivion in order for a crush to exist.  If both parties have crushes (and are aware), then it's not a crush for long. In this situation, a crush quickly goes from a crush to something else, like a relationship or bad sex.

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About Me

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I am the product-child of the Women's Lib movement. I have a grade A education, a promising career and no immediate goal for children or a spouse. I will be 30 this year and I have spent many years in monogamous relationships. In and out of 1 to 2 year relationships, I always dated with the goal of meeting someone special. Most of the time I didn't date. Most of the time I found myself falling into relationship after relationship. These relationships were doomed to fail. They were all built on expectations that were, for me, unattainable. I love meeting new people. I find sex enjoyable and empowering and I am not happy when I am monogamous. So, after my last break-up, after taking some time to grieve, I decided to cut my societal puppet strings and get back in the game. I set out on a mission to spend the Summer of 2010 dating as many men as possible. My only initial criteria was attraction. My only limitation was - no love and no structured relationships. This is my date by date tale of what life can be like outside of the goals of relationships and love.
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