Thursday, October 28, 2010

Decisions, Decisions

I'm sort of at an impasse.  See, I have these eggs.  And I have some baskets.  But, only one of the baskets is strong and sturdy.  I could technically divide my eggs up and put one in each basket, but I don't really want my friends seeing the other baskets.  The other baskets have holes.  And I have this one basket that is about an hour and a half away and so I can't really rely on that basket.  Oh and I have this other basket that might be married. Dilemma ... is it okay to, TEMPORARILY, put all of my eggs in this one strong sturdy basket.  One that is close by, not married and extremely gorgeous.

The issue is, I am tired of dating all these knuckleheads.  I had a horrible experience the other night.  It doesn't even need to be discussed.  It was just bad.  And it was on the heels of a great experience.  So, I don't know what to do.  I think I am done with meeting new guys for a bit.  I don't really want to stop talking to the guys from back home, and I will probably never stop talking to Sean, but as far as sharing myself with other men, I don't really want to do it for a bit.

My sex drive can't be denied.  It's huge, but there's always masturbation and I have found one man that satisfies a lot of those needs. However, that having been said, this is not about him.  It's about me.  These guys are wasting my time.  Seriously, I spent all of Monday tired and mad that I had been up the night before having awkward conversation and then attempting to be slightly polite.  Trouble was, I was just tired and fed up.  I just told ol' dude that I was not interested and went home.  

The aspect of the strong, sturdy man is probably a bit premature.  He and I have only had one night together and other than that, we just do a lot of internet chatting.  But, either way, he's spoiled me a bit and seeing what is out there and what is possible is making me realize that I am wasting time with these other guys

1 comment:

  1. Do what is best for you always. Take a break. Maybe you are giving too much. Rejuvenate and get back to what makes you happy.


About Me

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I am the product-child of the Women's Lib movement. I have a grade A education, a promising career and no immediate goal for children or a spouse. I will be 30 this year and I have spent many years in monogamous relationships. In and out of 1 to 2 year relationships, I always dated with the goal of meeting someone special. Most of the time I didn't date. Most of the time I found myself falling into relationship after relationship. These relationships were doomed to fail. They were all built on expectations that were, for me, unattainable. I love meeting new people. I find sex enjoyable and empowering and I am not happy when I am monogamous. So, after my last break-up, after taking some time to grieve, I decided to cut my societal puppet strings and get back in the game. I set out on a mission to spend the Summer of 2010 dating as many men as possible. My only initial criteria was attraction. My only limitation was - no love and no structured relationships. This is my date by date tale of what life can be like outside of the goals of relationships and love.