Thursday, October 14, 2010

No Good

Just when I thought I would never see another one-night-stand ... Just when I thought I had recounted my worst possible experience of one, I went and got drunk.  And, there he was, some random guy at some random bar.

I won't go into the details.  It was drunken.  Neither of us offered a quality experience for the other.  The difference was, I didn't act like an asshole because I didn't cum.  I just sucked it up, because I can't even remember all the sexual experiences that I have had throughout my life that ended with me not cumming.  Guys don't get to experience this very often.  Women get more of it than they care to remember.

So, when it came time for me to make my exit the next morning, he texted and stared at the ground.  I guess he wanted to avoid the horrible task of saying "later."  Yeah ... it was a gem of an experience really.  I considered not writing about it at all, but I figured a guy that stops speaking to you because he can't stay hard long enough to cum and treats you like shit isn't really worth the respect I would afford to the men that are courteous and considerate.  After all, the reason he thought I wasn't worth a "goodbye" or a walk to the door, was because he thought he didn't have to respect a woman that comes home with him.  That's his prerogative.  I choose to have a minimum level of respect for all people.  Including a dude that chose to make the same decision I did the night before.  It's not his fault.  He's a product, not the problem.  Then, he threw me a curve ball and called me the next day.  I am not even sure what that was about.  He said he was trying to make sure it was my number and that I should hit him up later.  The same guy that couldn't be bothered to acknowledge me as I left his house?  I did not hit him up later.  No hard feelings.  I just expect more out of humans.

Either way, it was bad.  We were drunk and we didn't know each other.  That is really all that has to be said.  I am up for sex without a commitment, but I am not up for ever having that kind of sex again.  There has to be some sort of compassion and connection or it's just no fun.  It's not a numbers game.  I'm not trying to rack up the conquests.... I am trying to have a fulfilling sexual experience and I am trying to cum, get a kiss or hug goodbye and maybe a check-in call the next day.  You don't have to be Prince Charming, but don't be a child about it.

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About Me

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I am the product-child of the Women's Lib movement. I have a grade A education, a promising career and no immediate goal for children or a spouse. I will be 30 this year and I have spent many years in monogamous relationships. In and out of 1 to 2 year relationships, I always dated with the goal of meeting someone special. Most of the time I didn't date. Most of the time I found myself falling into relationship after relationship. These relationships were doomed to fail. They were all built on expectations that were, for me, unattainable. I love meeting new people. I find sex enjoyable and empowering and I am not happy when I am monogamous. So, after my last break-up, after taking some time to grieve, I decided to cut my societal puppet strings and get back in the game. I set out on a mission to spend the Summer of 2010 dating as many men as possible. My only initial criteria was attraction. My only limitation was - no love and no structured relationships. This is my date by date tale of what life can be like outside of the goals of relationships and love.