I have been neglecting my blog. Everyone gets busy. We all have those things that we let slip through the cracks a bit. I thought I would do a not so quick summary for you guys to let you know where things stand with me. It will be a series of posts, outlining where I stand. Here goes.
Me
I have kind of been all over the place. I got back to New England and got lonely. I don't have nearly as many friends there. It's cold and I got a bit confused. I am not sure if it is the pressure of my work load, or if it is just a natural progression or phase that people/I will go through. But, I started thinking a lot about a relationship. Of course, being all over the place means that I think about a relationship and I actively do nothing to change my position. I am still dating/sleeping with more than one guy. The only difference is, I get my feelings hurt when they don't have feelings for me or if they don't take me seriously. It was time to take a step back and evaluate what it is I want. But, after doing that for about 5 minutes, I remembered the more important question. What do I need?
I need a minute to breath. I need to stop getting emotionally involved and look at me. I realized that in being single and dating multiple men, I have just become wrapped up in multiple relationships instead of just one. The beauty is the honesty and diversity. I have been honest with these men and I get to sleep with/enjoy the company of more than one guy, but my head is starting to spin. I have a select few men that I really do have feelings for, then I have this river of guys that I have trouble keeping names straight with. There is this hierarchy that has naturally come about. I am hoping after I write this series of posts and think for a bit, I will start to figure out what I want and what I need.
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About Me
- Poly Amory
- I am the product-child of the Women's Lib movement. I have a grade A education, a promising career and no immediate goal for children or a spouse. I will be 30 this year and I have spent many years in monogamous relationships. In and out of 1 to 2 year relationships, I always dated with the goal of meeting someone special. Most of the time I didn't date. Most of the time I found myself falling into relationship after relationship. These relationships were doomed to fail. They were all built on expectations that were, for me, unattainable. I love meeting new people. I find sex enjoyable and empowering and I am not happy when I am monogamous. So, after my last break-up, after taking some time to grieve, I decided to cut my societal puppet strings and get back in the game. I set out on a mission to spend the Summer of 2010 dating as many men as possible. My only initial criteria was attraction. My only limitation was - no love and no structured relationships. This is my date by date tale of what life can be like outside of the goals of relationships and love.
Do that. I think every once in awhile everyone needs to reevaluate what it is that they want. It may be the winter blues when everybody wants to cuddle up with a mate or you might actually *gasp* want a more serious relationship or you may need time to yourself. Hope everything works out!!!
ReplyDeletecharacter development. love it. space is necessary. realization of the that, more necessary. growth and awareness from that, even better. go you. big hugs.
ReplyDelete