For Lulu

I love my readers.  I really do.  Whether they are emailing me saying they disagree with my ways, or commenting that they appreciate the things I say.  I love them and most days I wake up excited to write for them. I like to be challenged and I like to be supported.  The growth that has come from the balance they bring is unreal.  Recently, some of my favorite readers have been asking for advice.  

The truth is, I don't really have any advice to give, outside of be honest.  Be honest all the time.  Don't over share and don't say things that will hurt people's feelings, but be honest.  Deciding to be honest and just be me has made all the difference in the world.  I think most of my unhappiness and insecurity came from worrying about the 'secrets' I had... The things I held back for fear of being unlovable.  Once I let them all out, I realized that all of me is lovable.  The only thing that wasn't was the dishonest side of me.  

So, just be you.  Don't try to hide who you are and how you feel.  We aren't crazy because we are women. We aren't irrational or over emotional.  We aren't conniving.  We aren't backstabbers or jealous wenches.  We are loyal.  We are brave.  We are mothers and best friends.  We are generally pretty fucking cool.  We are sexual and we are loving.  We can be strong or vulnerable.  We can have moments of unimaginable strength and glory and moments of crying on the floor, but we are beautiful at all times.  The only thing I would like to say in regards to women and my friends as a whole is that we need to stop hiding ourselves.  We need to stop trying to one up each other or appear stronger than one another.  We need to realize that there is no fault in weakness. There is no fault in sadness.  Own it when you feel it.  Support your fellow women when they feel it.  And realize that you are at your full worth whether you feel you are a super hero or a sinking ship. 

Don't spend your life hiding parts of you.  Own the things you don't like and work to change them.  Don't make excuses, because no one is perfect.  Just be happy and be good to other people.  I really think this is what made me really love myself.  In honor of loving myself.  I am going to take the final step in loving me.  My name is Jehnifer.  I don't need to be anonymous anymore, because I am proud to share my moments of weakness and my moments of strength with you guys.  I will keep my lovers and friends anonymous, but this is me.  I'm 30, I'm a student and I am in love with me.  

Thanks, Lulu. <3