Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Distinction

When I tell people that I am not monogamous, they often think that I am not interested in repeat dating, or seeing the same person more than once.  They think that I somehow manage to evade, escape or deny the emotion that creates a bond between two people.  This is not the case.  Though, I often wish it was.

It's a fine line I walk.  As I have said in the past, I am not into sex for the sake of sex.  It doesn't have to be love, but it does have to be loving.  I think sex devoid of a connection is sex devoid of passion.  It all goes back to being a good lover, putting forth effort and putting yourself into your sex and into your partner, for whatever amount of time you choose to spend with them.  

With some, this can be a one time act.  It can be performed without words, with only looks, smiles and touch.  You can have a sexual connection with someone, feeling their movements and reading their body to discover and fulfill their wants.  This can be a one time act and still be beautiful and fulfilling.

Or, it can be repeated and consist of more.  Sometimes, you meet someone and you have all of the things I mentioned above, while also having a connection on another level.  You can have that amazing sex, while also being able to carry on a great conversation and make each other laugh.

I think it silly to forsake this because you don't want to be monogamous.  Some connections are physical and fleeting, while others are lasting and more substantial.  They can be confused at times, but as long as honesty is the key element, I see no harm in blurring the lines a little.  I also see no point in forsaking a good thing for the sake of variety or out of the pride that comes out of knowing that you are not the only one.  Each connection is different and unique and some need to be explored longer than others.

No comments:

Post a Comment

About Me

My photo
I am the product-child of the Women's Lib movement. I have a grade A education, a promising career and no immediate goal for children or a spouse. I will be 30 this year and I have spent many years in monogamous relationships. In and out of 1 to 2 year relationships, I always dated with the goal of meeting someone special. Most of the time I didn't date. Most of the time I found myself falling into relationship after relationship. These relationships were doomed to fail. They were all built on expectations that were, for me, unattainable. I love meeting new people. I find sex enjoyable and empowering and I am not happy when I am monogamous. So, after my last break-up, after taking some time to grieve, I decided to cut my societal puppet strings and get back in the game. I set out on a mission to spend the Summer of 2010 dating as many men as possible. My only initial criteria was attraction. My only limitation was - no love and no structured relationships. This is my date by date tale of what life can be like outside of the goals of relationships and love.
There was an error in this gadget