Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Sick

No.  This is not another post about the guy that masturbated on my voicemail.  His 15 minutes are up. It's time for my Strep to take the stage.

I have been sick for two days and one of my suitors asked a good question.  Well, maybe not a good question, but thought provoking, nonetheless.   He asked, "But who is going to take care of you?"  I thought about it for a second and answered, "Me."

My first thought was, "Well, that's depressing."   I roll solo at times like these.  Friends can't come around, because they can't get sick too.  My mom is about 1500 miles away, so that's not really an option.  When I was back home, she used to be the one that would come to my rescue in the middle of the night if I fell ill.  But now, it's just me.  Single and far from home, I take care of me.

So, the far from home part kind of sucks.  But, once I thought more about the single part, it's pretty much the same.  I have never been in a relationship where the guy took care of me when I was sick.  I imagine this would mean making me dinner or running me a bath. Nope.  Never had that.  I have had plenty of instances of taking care of a man while he was sick.  But not really the reverse.

My last boyfriend used to help me out financially.  He would send 50 bucks if I was struggling, but that wasn't very often.  He was better at offering financial support than the warm, take care of you when you're sick, kind of support.  In the end, it almost felt like he was literally paying for his mistakes.

I guess I just don't really go for the kind of guys that take care of you when you are sick.  I remember most of my sick days being just like today.  I have, on more than one occasion, ridden my bike to the pharmacy while sick, driven myself to the emergency room and sat alone in the doctor's office.  So, when the guy asked me who was going to take care of me, I initially got sad.  I wondered if making the decision to be single had left me alone without a warm body to help me through.  Then, I remember that that is where I was when I was monogamous.  I was the caretaker in those situations.

When I tell the guys I am dating that I am sick, I get a "Feel better soon."  They generally don't even check back later to see how I'm feeling.  That's okay.  It's casual.  I have my friends to check in on me.  But, I think in the future, I will attempt to find at least one 'Caretaker' man.  It would be nice to have someone to bring me soup.  But if it doesn't happen, that's okay too.  I am pretty self sufficient.

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About Me

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I am the product-child of the Women's Lib movement. I have a grade A education, a promising career and no immediate goal for children or a spouse. I will be 30 this year and I have spent many years in monogamous relationships. In and out of 1 to 2 year relationships, I always dated with the goal of meeting someone special. Most of the time I didn't date. Most of the time I found myself falling into relationship after relationship. These relationships were doomed to fail. They were all built on expectations that were, for me, unattainable. I love meeting new people. I find sex enjoyable and empowering and I am not happy when I am monogamous. So, after my last break-up, after taking some time to grieve, I decided to cut my societal puppet strings and get back in the game. I set out on a mission to spend the Summer of 2010 dating as many men as possible. My only initial criteria was attraction. My only limitation was - no love and no structured relationships. This is my date by date tale of what life can be like outside of the goals of relationships and love.
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