Friday, August 27, 2010

Ask Him Out -- Today

The following is a repost from New Shoes, or: How Men Really Think

It's always funny to me the light hypocrisy of women asserting that they're strong, independent, intelligent, beautiful, etc., and then in the same breath declaring that they could never ask a man out on a date.

You don't want a man who's a coward, but...

I get it.  Women are sensitive.  "If he says no, it could mean I'm not attractive enough, not interesting enough, not charming enough."  Maybe... or it could mean that he simply wasn't the one.  On to the next one.

If there's a guy out there you like, ask him out.  Be firm with him; it's what men respond to.  Once you know he's free, be like, "Let's meet up at ________ and have drinks.  Say, seven-thirty?"  The first sentence is declarative, more assertive (which modern young woman claim to be).  The second leaves room for his involvement and mutual negotiation about the event.

If he says no then he says no.  If you're not full of shit with the things you say to intimidate other men -- "I'm too much woman for most of you to handle" -- then you'll simply assess this man as one who wasn't ready for you.  Avoiding asking a man out because you're scared is the ultimate self-betrayal.  Who can you blame when it's you cheating yourself?

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About Me

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I am the product-child of the Women's Lib movement. I have a grade A education, a promising career and no immediate goal for children or a spouse. I will be 30 this year and I have spent many years in monogamous relationships. In and out of 1 to 2 year relationships, I always dated with the goal of meeting someone special. Most of the time I didn't date. Most of the time I found myself falling into relationship after relationship. These relationships were doomed to fail. They were all built on expectations that were, for me, unattainable. I love meeting new people. I find sex enjoyable and empowering and I am not happy when I am monogamous. So, after my last break-up, after taking some time to grieve, I decided to cut my societal puppet strings and get back in the game. I set out on a mission to spend the Summer of 2010 dating as many men as possible. My only initial criteria was attraction. My only limitation was - no love and no structured relationships. This is my date by date tale of what life can be like outside of the goals of relationships and love.
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