Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Departure - Part 3

On our first meeting, I made it known that I didn’t want to sleep with him.  I just wanted sex.  I wasn’t interested in snuggling or cuddling up to him and I didn’t want to kiss him.  He was a stranger in the emotional realm and I was so fresh out of loving someone, that I wasn’t in the mood to fake affection. 

I guess he was in the mood to challenge this or see if the earlier rules still stood.  He told me to lay back and he put his arm around me.  I was cold and he was warm as he pressed his body against mine.  I couldn’t help but breathe him in.  He was newly in love with someone else and it was almost palpable.  I could smell it on him and it smelled good.  I wanted it.  His hand slid over mine and our fingers interlocked.  Really?  We are holding hands.  Bodies intertwined, we both fell asleep.  In the night, I got up to pee and when I came back to bed, he kissed my forehead and asked if I was okay.  I felt his kiss in my stomach.  I wanted to make his children.

The affection was not faked.  I didn’t have to feign anything.  I was cold and shivered in the night and he woke me to switch sides, so I was away from the fan.  He used his warm body to block me from the fan and we fell back asleep.  As I was drifting back off, I realized that I was almost healed.  I am so much warmer than I was at the beginning of the summer.  My guard is falling slowly.  I am able to accept affection.  And, I am in a new place.  I am truly having feelings for multiple people.  I am tired of hard sex.  I like it rough some times, but I want warmth. 

He woke hard at 4am and he got on top of me and entered me.  Normally it takes me a while to get warmed up in the morning.  Not this morning.  I was wet instantly and cumming within minutes.  It was  intense, hard and amazing.  After I had finished, he slowed his pace and pulled out of me, still hard.  He smacked me on the thigh and said “That’s all we have time for.  I could go all morning and we have to get you to the airport.  All’s fair.  I came and now, you came too.”  Are you serious?  He just got up and got dressed and I laid there in shock. 

He gave me an orgasm and got me to the airport on time.  He unloaded my bags at the curbside check-in and gave me a hug.  “Keep in touch, okay?”  Damn straight I will keep in touch. I’m not in love with The Beautiful One, but damn.  I have to say I have spent the majority of this flight imagining more nights like the one we had last night.  So, with my head and the rest of me in the clouds somewhere over the Midwest, I am embracing change.  I am leaving Houston a different person than I came into it.  I’m not ready or willing to be in a relationship, but we can cuddle … ?

When my plane touched down for my layover, I texted him; “If things don’t work out with ole’ girl, you have my number.” 

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About Me

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I am the product-child of the Women's Lib movement. I have a grade A education, a promising career and no immediate goal for children or a spouse. I will be 30 this year and I have spent many years in monogamous relationships. In and out of 1 to 2 year relationships, I always dated with the goal of meeting someone special. Most of the time I didn't date. Most of the time I found myself falling into relationship after relationship. These relationships were doomed to fail. They were all built on expectations that were, for me, unattainable. I love meeting new people. I find sex enjoyable and empowering and I am not happy when I am monogamous. So, after my last break-up, after taking some time to grieve, I decided to cut my societal puppet strings and get back in the game. I set out on a mission to spend the Summer of 2010 dating as many men as possible. My only initial criteria was attraction. My only limitation was - no love and no structured relationships. This is my date by date tale of what life can be like outside of the goals of relationships and love.