Monday, August 2, 2010


Being a Serial Dater, I have lulls in action. If monogamy goes right, one of its great perks is regularly scheduled and unscheduled sex. While monogamy takes more work, altogether, getting laid requires more from the serial dater. Sometimes, I don't feel like going out. Sometimes all the top choices are busy. Sometimes, I don't feel like shaving my legs. Sometimes, it's a Tuesday. On these nights, if the urge strikes, I take care of business myself. But, this is only one circumstance under which masturbation may occur. There are others.

For me, masturbation is not only to be approached as a substitute for sex. It is it's own thing. It is the time I spend with me. I have sex with others and I have sex with myself. Actually, I mean more to me than that. I like to think that I am "making love" to myself. Anyway, sex and masturbation; They are two different acts and neither are interchangeable for long spans of time. Even when I am in a relationship ... I can have sex 3 times a day and occasionally I will still need to get intimate with my favorite lady. I don't masturbate because my partner isn't satisfying me, I masturbate because I want to satisfy myself.

While masturbation can serve as a quick fix when sex is unattainable or just inconvenient, it can also be a slow and deliberate process. There are nights when I clean my room, make my bed, take a warm bath and then settle into bed, either in a pair of sexy panties or totally nude, with the full intention of seducing myself. I turn off my cell phone and dim the lights. Sometimes I use visual stimuli and sometimes I just close my eyes and think about a man or woman and a situation. I like the way my body looks when I masturbate; I turn myself on. I like the way it feels; It is a whole different experience of intimacy. I usually get wet the moment my back hits the bed.

This isn't the shameful act portrayed in movies. No one is sneaking off into the restroom to rub one out real quick. This is the act of a grown woman. It's one of the things I do for myself. I don't eat pork or too much red meat, I get massages, I take vitamins, I journal, I get exercise, I meditate and I masturbate. It's a part of a healthy lifestyle.


About Me

My photo
I am the product-child of the Women's Lib movement. I have a grade A education, a promising career and no immediate goal for children or a spouse. I will be 30 this year and I have spent many years in monogamous relationships. In and out of 1 to 2 year relationships, I always dated with the goal of meeting someone special. Most of the time I didn't date. Most of the time I found myself falling into relationship after relationship. These relationships were doomed to fail. They were all built on expectations that were, for me, unattainable. I love meeting new people. I find sex enjoyable and empowering and I am not happy when I am monogamous. So, after my last break-up, after taking some time to grieve, I decided to cut my societal puppet strings and get back in the game. I set out on a mission to spend the Summer of 2010 dating as many men as possible. My only initial criteria was attraction. My only limitation was - no love and no structured relationships. This is my date by date tale of what life can be like outside of the goals of relationships and love.