Thursday, August 5, 2010

Feminist Me

I am a feminist. I know feminists of yesteryear would choke on their patchouli and bra smoke if they saw me prance by in my 6 inch heels with my titties all out. But, this is a new time. I am afforded the right to be any woman I want to be. Granted I can be any woman I want to be, while still making 70 cents for every dollar made by a man with equal or lesser skills, but I am afforded certain rights, that women have never had.

Feminism was a movement that set the stage for women to make their own decisions. At 29, my decisions have led me to be a single woman that makes her own way in the world and writes about sex and dating. These are my decisions. I don't feel that I have to have a boyfriend, husband or children to be validated. My plight is as much a woman's as my stay-at-home-mom sister. And, her story is every bit as much a woman's as our professional sister. We are all very different.

This is the point. This is what we want. We wanted to brake the mold that women have been shoved into for decades, centuries. The women's liberation movement was all about that. It was all about allowing women the choice to be who they are or to spend their whole lives searching if they choose. It means that my sister is no less a feminist because she stays home and raises her children. That's her choice, she doesn't have to do it. She could be out working, but that's not what makes her happy.

I don't support anything that degrades women, especially not when its perpetrated by other women. So, the next time you look down your nose at someone because she stays at home with her kids, or dates around, or leaves her kids with a sitter to go to work or shakes her ass on a stage for money, think about that person as an individual that had to make decisions. And realize that those decision are different from yours, because she's had different options and possible considerably fewer options. Some of those decisions are hard. Some of them are the wrong decision, but that's what freedom brings. It brings hard decisions.

So, I write. I date. I have sex. I am also a student, a sister, a friend and a feminist. I grew up poor and worked up to one of the best, most expensive colleges in the country and I choose to write this.

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About Me

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I am the product-child of the Women's Lib movement. I have a grade A education, a promising career and no immediate goal for children or a spouse. I will be 30 this year and I have spent many years in monogamous relationships. In and out of 1 to 2 year relationships, I always dated with the goal of meeting someone special. Most of the time I didn't date. Most of the time I found myself falling into relationship after relationship. These relationships were doomed to fail. They were all built on expectations that were, for me, unattainable. I love meeting new people. I find sex enjoyable and empowering and I am not happy when I am monogamous. So, after my last break-up, after taking some time to grieve, I decided to cut my societal puppet strings and get back in the game. I set out on a mission to spend the Summer of 2010 dating as many men as possible. My only initial criteria was attraction. My only limitation was - no love and no structured relationships. This is my date by date tale of what life can be like outside of the goals of relationships and love.
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