Tuesday, August 24, 2010

That's A Wrap, Houston ...

As my summer narrows to a close, I am attempting to squeeze in all the dates I can.  My calendar for this week is starting to look a lot like the Best of Summer 2010.  I figure, what better way to usher out the last summer vacation of my life.  This is my last year in school and I am going to rejoin the workforce next May.  So, might as well take it out with a bang.  Pun intended.  Soon, my life will be back to the normal grind: research papers and presentations, meetings with professors and job interviews.  Yes, I have a normal life.  I do things other than date.  They just aren't as interesting.  

But, for those of you who have been writing in, don't worry.  I will still be dating and I will still be blogging.  I write this blog not only as a way to reach out to other women and create a community for them, but as a way to feel like I am part of a community myself.  I want at least one woman to feel normal when she reads this blog, but the letters and the encouragement are making me feel normal, as well.  Never has it felt so good to be average.  I took my most shameful moments, wrapped them in humor and deliver them for your judgment, praise or indifference.  I got a little bit of everything.  I don't write under the belief that I am terribly important or that I am right in anything I say.  I just write as me, in hopes of bringing some smiles to some faces.  These aren't great stories, they aren't cutting edge.  They are cathartic and masturbatory at times.  There are nights when I am sitting alone, inside my head and all I want to do is write.  In those moments, I do it totally for me.  When people write in and ask me to talk about a certain subject, I might write for that one individual.

I am changed from this experience.  I took all of my shame and I laid it out for strangers, friends, acquaintances and lovers.  I was forced to be honest and own up to being me.  But, at the same time, I hurt some people that didn't want to acknowledge those parts of me.  For that, I am sorry, but I will not stop writing.  For me, love can no longer equate to the sacrifice of self.  I hope that no one that loves me takes on my actions as their own responsibility.  These are my actions and they in no way reflect the actions or influence of anyone else.   I have loved sex since I started having it.  I am single, because I want to have sex and spend time with more than one person.  I write this blog, in part, so that I am bound to the truth.

So, I will keep going.  I have transferred all of my online dating profiles to my New England zip code and I already have two dates lined up.  I do have to say one thing, though ... In my experience, men in the North got nothing on Texas men.  I will give the yankees a chance, but I love the men in Houston. There's no place like home.  I am going to miss you guys.  But, it's not over till its over ... and we have 6 days left together.  Let's make it count!  

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About Me

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I am the product-child of the Women's Lib movement. I have a grade A education, a promising career and no immediate goal for children or a spouse. I will be 30 this year and I have spent many years in monogamous relationships. In and out of 1 to 2 year relationships, I always dated with the goal of meeting someone special. Most of the time I didn't date. Most of the time I found myself falling into relationship after relationship. These relationships were doomed to fail. They were all built on expectations that were, for me, unattainable. I love meeting new people. I find sex enjoyable and empowering and I am not happy when I am monogamous. So, after my last break-up, after taking some time to grieve, I decided to cut my societal puppet strings and get back in the game. I set out on a mission to spend the Summer of 2010 dating as many men as possible. My only initial criteria was attraction. My only limitation was - no love and no structured relationships. This is my date by date tale of what life can be like outside of the goals of relationships and love.
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