The following is a letter from an anonymous reader. She calls herself Natalia.
I was completely addicted. Seeking out men that “weren’t” available because they had a ring on their finger. Such bullshit. Every man is available. They just don’t know it until everything has already happened. So, lets call this guy Dick. Dick was married for 8 years to who he thought was the woman of his dreams. He was really physically active and on lonely nights, when his lovely wife was out having “girls night” or so she called it, he would frequent runners forums. On the other end you have me, single, successful, Brazilian, blue eyed, mid 20’s, hungry for adventure, woman - with a tendency to fall for the wrong man at the wrong time. I had just started running to keep me away from dating and men altogether. I’ve always been the type of girl that feels more comfortable around men. Mainly, because I was brought up by father and his brothers. Also, I think there is some sort of chemical reaction that occurs between two people when they know they can’t have each other. Any who, I messaged this guy who would always post about reaching that point to where your entire body goes numb after running for hours on end. I wanted that. Sounds similar to what happens after a multiple orgasm. When was the last time you had one of those? Ha! yep, rare, aren’t they. We kept messaging each other for about two weeks straight... I kept finding myself daydreaming of what Dick looked like.
Finally, one Friday during an angry thunderstorm, he invited me over to his place to try out his new “espresso machine”. Of course I asked where his wife was and if she would be joining us. “Oh, no she is out of town for the next two weeks.” Perfect. I drove out to suburbia and it took me a bit, since I thought about turning around and going back home to my book instead. Should I? No, yes. Yes. He was waiting out front of his house for me, I parked and I hesitated to open the door. He walked towards me, and he was godly. When I say godly, there seemed to be a shift in the mother fucking universe. He was everything I wanted to fuck. He took one look at me and smiled. He slid his hand down the lower part of my back to guide me in. I was in, this was going to be super easy. You and me both know, I’m not one to want to invest in a relationship, so this was golden. No strings attached, he’s married, so he can’t want me. Who the hell would leave their wife of 8 years for someone they just met anyway. We ended up drowning our secrets in a bottle of rum he had. We were standing in the middle of the kitchen and during one of those moments, you know after laughing for hours, that moment of silence when you catch each others eyes and smile. He came closer and I closed my eyes... he grabbed my thighs and slammed me onto the counter top and ripped my tank off. The rest of the rum dripped down my ass- he turned me around and shoved his face in between my legs. I could feel his tongue pressed tight up against my clit and I moaned. He pulled my head back to kiss me and I felt a bit of guilt. Just for a split second. “You want this cock inside you, don’t you.. I’ll give it to you real good...” And he did. Real good. He did me good for 5 hours. We emptied out the refrigerator and dipped ourselves in everything from peanut butter, whipped cream, to basil pesto. I woke up the next morning on the couch with his head on my stomach. I searched for the door and clothes and I was far from both. I managed to slide him off of me and ran to grab what was left of my clothes. It was 11am on a Saturday morning. I got in my car and drove as fast as I could back into the city.
My phone started ringing immediately. It was Dick. I didn’t answer it...
It’s three days later and I’m in Dicks truck, naked. We are out in them middle of a field, god knows where- and his seats are soaked with me. He looks at me and says... I’m leaving my wife. My heart fell out of my ass. I searched for the handle and tried to get out, he pulled my hair and slammed me on the seat. He whispered “I’ve got you now sweet cunt, you know you want it again.” I did. I wanted him so bad all day and night long. I gave in. I gave in for the next 4 months. Then he disappeared. However, I did get the pleasure in speaking to his wife. I don’t think she liked me much, telling from her voice message she left. “If I ever find out who you are you stupid whore, I’m going to kill you, you piece of shit home-wrecker.” Home wrecker. He lied to me. He lied to her. A week later I got a phone call from a hospital. It was Dick. “Please come get me out of here my wife put me in the bin. She thinks I’m crazy for wanting to leave her.” Fuck all of that. I was working on husband number 3. I was on a mission to prove myself right. I was out to prove that any man I came across was a cheater. I did good. I ended up having 15 affairs within 8 months.
... and now I don’t fully trust any man I come across.
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