This is not something I have ever been into. In the dark of night, under the sheets, my mind has never even played with the idea. It is a fantasy for some of my homegirls, but I have never been into the idea. Not only does the thought of two men in me at once seem uncomfortable ... painful even, it makes me feel more vulnerable than I care to feel during sex. In the past, when this subject has come up, I have always shuddered at the idea.
When he asked me, I was taken aback for a moment. But, at the same time, I was turned on. This was the first time the idea had seemed at all appealing. I had a good idea of how it would go down. We started playing out the logistics of it. We got as far as discussing positions. I was never fully in. I would still have to ask the other guy and think on it for a bit.
I ran a hypothetical past a couple people. I asked a friend and I texted another guy I had been talking to. The friend was for it. Actually a few of my girlfriends came into the discussion and they were all for it. The guy said he had a similar experience and he would tell me about it. I would take all of these opinions into consideration, but the fact of the matter is, the decision boiled down to the opinion and feelings of one person and one person only: Me.
I decided that there were too many outside factors in play. Not only did I have a really good-looking guy in my ear serving as the cheerleader for DP, I had friends that had been into the idea for a long time and I had the surprise turn-on when real actors came into play. When I could picture the men, I was attracted to the idea. There was also a thrill factor. This is what scared me. I am not the type to go for the thrill. The fact that the idea had never appealed to me before this moment was a strong red flag.
I was never into it before, why was I now not only contemplating it, but ironing out details for how it might go down? This required some thought. I backed off. I stopped talking to ol' dude about it for a while and I worked on cutting out the outside influence. This is kind of a big deal.
So, I have come to a conclusion. Not yet. I don't like to say never, but not now. Not in the near future. It's not something I have ever really wanted to do. The initial thrill was rooted in someone else's excitement. Once that settled down, I was left with apprehension and a slightly peaked curiosity. I could be down. and I wonder what that is like? are not strong enough reasons to put myself in a room with two large grown men and attempt an act that I haven't even considered in the past. It was way too much. For the time being, I am not down with the DP.